Liminal Thoughts

Leaving the 21st century

2012-01-10T17:50:00.000-08:00

I'm heading out in a few hours. Out of the country, out of my comfort zone, out of the 21st century.

It's odd knowing that I am going to have separation anxiety from technology. No Internet in my pocket. It used to be that it was only driving that I missed when traveling far away. Not that it was ever that bad. But I already know how odd it is to leave my cellphone at home and not have it there to answer my questions. I've actually been making an effort of late not to automatically go for it. It's nice to have a break.

We'll see if I feel the need to hit the Internet cafes. I do like uploading pictures along the way. And sharing some thoughts.

Okay, I really should start packing.

View from the turning point

2011-12-31T19:06:00.000-08:00

Today is one of those moments in time where one naturally stops and takes a look around. Naturally is probably too strong a word given that there are so many different calendars with many different days that start their New Year. But there are the days just beginning to get longer and other signs that it's time to go round one more time.

The year has been a mixed bag, as most years probably are. I finally made it to Disney World, and to the newer Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I made the rounds of friends and family in Florida that I've been meaning to do for years. I returned to Minnesota after so many years away, but on a trip motivated by the death of my brother Tom.

From this vantage point, I see how many things that I had been doing regularly slipped by the wayside without much notice. I made kitchari for the first time in ages today (I need to replenish my favorite masala). I've not even tried going to another yoga studio since mine closed at the end of July. I kayaked less than in past years, due largely to the cooler weather, but I was painfully aware of that all summer. I became closer to some friends, and farther away from others.

I also see how many things still languish on my to-do list. Where does the time go?

And that, to me, is the important thing to take away from this night. Time does go. I am too good at procrastination, in thinking that I can put things off until tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is a new year as well as a new day. And I am resolved to stop putting so many things off.

Happy New Year!

The Moment

2011-11-30T21:43:00.001-08:00

I vividly remember the moment I stoppedbelieving in airplane flight. I was on a train traveling north out ofParis to Charles de Gaulle. The track skirted up against the part ofthe airport where the big planes that flew across the Atlanticawaited their next take off. I looked at the massive planes, allshiny silver, and thought to myself, ‘There's no way that’s getting offthe ground!’

Before then, I’d never doubted airtravel. My first airplane trip was when I was about three months oldand my parents took me back East to meet my mother’s family forPassover. I have vague memories of another trip back East, in a planewhere pairs of seats faced one another like on a train, or ferry. The first flights Idistinctly remember were between Madison and the Twin Cities. Mymother and I made the trip when my Bubi (my paternal grandmother) hadone of her heart attacks. Iremember the unbelievably loud propellers that sat on the wings but,more traumatically, I remember losing Bashful from my 'Snow White andthe Seven Dwarfs' cut out set. Bashful was my favorite.

By the time I boarded my flight atCharles de Gaulle, I had amassed thousands of air miles (and, in fact,that flight was the last leg of my second trip around the world). During all those flights, theredefinitely had been some uneasy moments, especially flying home from college at theholidays with the plane packed claustrophobically full. Oh, and the landing in Nanjing on my junior semester abroad where the wing came way too close tothe ground on touchdown. But mostly, air travel seemed prettysafe and I’d never been terribly concerned flying.

With that flight out of Paris, there was anxiety.It held on a little over the years, although it’s gone now. Flying is still lessthoughtless for me than it had been before that moment when I lost my belief.

Monday morning, walking to work, I had asimilar moment of something seeming impossible. As I crossed a street, I was noticing the manhole covers.One was marked DRAIN, and I always notice those because of aphotograph I saw once where just the word RAIN was visible on a wetmanhole cover. The other was marked WATER.

Maybe it is allthe rain we’ve gotten lately, coupled with thecampaign that points out all drainage with signs reminding folks that everything that goes down them flows in to Puget Sound, but thethought of the water I drink somehow safely making its way throughcity streets suddenly seemed as unlikely as a ton plus of airplane gettingoff the ground. This moment doesn’t seem to have made a difference in my behavior or anxiety levelsthus far. I am still drinking water from the places I have for years, and still believing it won't hurt me.

2011-10-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

One of my philosophies of life is that life is like a video game: you come across all sorts of random things that may come in handy later on, sometimes in ways you don't expect. Other times, you see immediately where they might be useful.

When I was kayaking on Sunday, I came across something unusual in the water. Long stemmed roses. The first rose I saw in the Montlake Cut, which Wikipedia claims is approximately 2,500 feet long and 350 feet wide , which makes the water rough depending upon the traffic going through. It was rough enough that I didn't attempt to grab it, despite really wanting to.

Thankfully, just past the narrowest part of the cut, I glimpsed another rose that I was able to steer to it and pick it out of the water. A little further on, another rose another grab. One of them I gave to a friend as a bit of beauty to cheer a hard day. The other I took home with me and put in a champagne flute. It's been good company this week, during dinner, hot baths, and on my nightstand as I sleep. It's held up very well, opening up and growing even more beautiful.

I have no idea who strew these roses on the water, but I'm glad I came upon them and put them to good use.

Yesterday's Commentary on Me

2011-10-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

I feel like weeks can go by without anyone saying anything particularly particular about me. Yesterday, however, I got the following comments, paraphrased, in order:

Homeless man, as I walked along under my umbrella: "You are just so beautiful."
Friend: "Nice Paddington Bear look."
Starbuck's cashier, after I ordered a cookie, "Thank you. I saw you and thought you were going to order something really complex. Thanks for being easy."

Very interesting how people see you, and what people are willing to tell you about how they see you!

America: September 12, 2011

2011-09-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on America. For most of those ten years, I have had strongly suspected that the terrorist won. Although, like most of the sports teams I root for, we have lost the game as much as they have won it.

One of bin Laden's goals was war between America and Muslim countries. He certainly achieved this goal. And America's military presence in Iraq and Afghanistan, and drone attacks in Pakistan, have bolstered anti-American sentiment across the Muslim world, and beyond, breeding more zealots willing to sacrifice themselves against our unIslamic might.

Another goal was to bankrupt the U.S.. According to Brown University's Cost of War project, the total cost of the wars in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq is estimated at over $3.2 trillion (not including the over 225,000 lives lost and another 7,800,000 people displaced). Note that this is the equivalent of the US's budget deficit for the last three years combined. And while the country certainly has felt bankrupt, both monetarily and spiritually, it is our own economic policies, poor regulation, and greed that did most of the damage there.

Whether or not it was a goal of bin Laden or the terrorist attacks, where we have lost the most is the lessening of the very way of life we Americans claim to have been so proud of. To quote Benjamin Franklin:

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

But that is exactly what America has done over and over again during the last ten years.

The attacks of 9/11 were horrible. We lost 2,977 innocent people, not all of whom were American. We saw the Twin Towers, symbols as well as realities of our global economy, come crashing down. It was scary.

But I am still more scared of how the country has changed since then. We have lost sight of our belief in human rights and justice for all.

Our country once lead the way in punishing those who tortured, but now we hold detainees for years without charges, have used waterboarding and other torture and humiliation to gather information (despite studies that show that torture doesn't work), we return suspects to countries where they will be tortured, and when we do any of this to someone innocent of terror we refuse to make amends for what we have done.

Americans have had their rights removed for some alleged greater good. The government has been allowed to spy upon us without any basis or legal warrant. For these last ten years, we have had to submit to all sorts of absurd rules, regulations, and searches just to board an airplane, despite allowing all sorts of exceptions for children and medial conditions, or more importantly catching any of the people who have boarded with bombs. Here is somewhere a simple cost-benefit analysis would show we are getting no bang for our buck (although folks try to tell me that it makes people feel safer, to which I reply, "Not me.")

American belief in religious freedom seems to have died a tragic death, given the reports of opposition to building mosques around the country. I cannot see what is to be feared from a place of worship, or how any American can justify this religious intolerance. All of this only adds fuel to the fire burning around the world that American is anti-Islamic.

Then there is the short-sightedness of Twenty-First century Americans who do not know or think of the earlier wars between the West and Islam, when the Pope called for European kings to sent forces off to Jerusalem to crusade against the occupying Muslims, attacking them to preserve the Christian faith and recapture the Holy Land. And now here we are with radical Islamic leaders urging forces to go attack Western countries to preserve their Islamic faith and way of life.

10 years later

2011-09-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

The morning of Tuesday, September 11th, 2001, I woke up a little after 7AM PT as usual. I turned on the television to get the weather forecast as usual, but the local news was not on. Instead I joined the coverage of the terrorist attacks on America already in progress. By that point, all the planes involved in the attacks had crashed and South Tower had already collapsed. It was a lot of information to process in my half-awake state.

After briefly wondering whether I was still dreaming, I started sobbing. I knew one college friend worked in one of the Towers, and I had a number of other friends and family in New York City. I was scared, both personally and as an American. America had been attacked.

Unsure what else to do, I took the bus in to work. The people riding on the bus were also scared. They talked about the possibility that there could be an attack here in Seattle, but it seemed unlikely to me. For one thing, they had already grounded all planes by then.

In the days that followed, one of the oddest things was not having any planes in the sky. Between Sea-Tac, Boeing Field, and flocks of seaplanes, you often see planes in the skies here. The empty skies in the days post-9/11 were an eerie reminder of what had happened. It might have been even more noticeable to me as, in the months prior to the attacks, I had the oddest sense when I looked up at a plane in the sky that I needed to keep willing it to fly. That feeling stopped after the attacks.

At work, we sat around the conference room and watched the news on the television we had. At some point, I was able to get in touch with Herb, my friend who had worked in the Tower. It turned out that he had gone to a baseball game with a mutual friend the night before and had planned to go in to work late. The attack began before he left home. His whole department got out before their Tower collapsed, but he was spared the horror of being there. My cousin, Michael, worked across the street from the Towers, and did see firsthand things that our own news did not show (but could be seen on Spanish-speaking stations around the country).

Another thing I remember from that time is the news coverage. I did not have cable at this point and all the television would show me was the attacks over and over again. I had cable within a week.

There was also the sense in those early days that Americans could unite, could transform this tragedy in to something positive. I know that some people acted on this and did create positive changes for themselves and others, but our government failed to channel our collective horror and rage at what had happened in to anything useful. Maybe that is part of why we have turned on one another more and more.

For myself, I knew I needed something to deal with the grief and sense of violation I had following these attacks. My "therapy" was making origami cranes. I did not know how to make them when I started. Using the instructions that came with the origami paper and some from the Internet, I was able to figure out how to do it. The first cranes I made were imperfect, but I've kept them as I felt they reflect the state of the world at that time. I found the act of creation, the focus and simplicity of folding, to be soothing in that time of upheaval and uncertainty. At first, I gave them to my coworkers and friends as signs of comfort and hope. Soon, the question of what to do with all the cranes arose. I decided to make a chain of cranes, one for each day of the year from 9/11/2001-9/11/2002. From January 1st 2002, I made a crane a day, placing them in a trifle dish by my bed. It gave me an interesting sense of time passing. When I laid them out to string up, each Tuesday was a large crane, so that the weeks could easily be seen, and I marked every 11th first with black, then gray, and then white. It starts in black and blue and purple (the colors of bruises), going into red, white, and blue. Holidays tend to be sparkly metallic. I put those first imperfect cranes at the start of the chain, mainly after the surge of patriotic red, white, and blue. On the morning of September 11th 2002, I hung my string of 366 cranes on the miniature Statue of Liberty on Alki where I was living.

Ten years later, I am thankful (although not celebratory) that bin Laden was killed and that Ground Zero is more than the gaping hole I saw in December 2004. Today, I will leave it at that, and simply remember those who died not necessarily knowing what had happened, and those who died trying to save others--from the first responders at the Towers to the passengers on United 93.

Reflections

2011-09-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

I made it kayaking Thursday. The water at times was like a mirror, providing a second view of the world. It was disorienting at times in a beautiful.

The most dizzying disorientingly wonderful experience I have had with this effect was sailing down the Strait of Juan de Fuca on the Fortuna. It was around sunset and I looked down into the sepia water and thought I saw all these big rocks below the surface. I watched apprehensively over the side, marveling at how close they seemed. At some point I realized that there were no rocks, just the reflection of the puffy clouds overhead.

I'm Going Home

2011-08-23T06:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a dozen years since I last set foot on the silty ground of my homeland, and my reason for returning home now is an unhappy one. There does come a time when one returns home, be it a physical place or the metaphoric bosom of one's family, for weddings and funerals.

My last homecoming would also have been for a funeral had I not already scheduled a half-day layover there on the way back from Boston (another of my homes) with my then boyfriend so that my Bubi (grandmother for the goyim out there) could meet him. She died a few weeks before then so instead I toured him around my childhood.

The plane flies on and I do not want it to arrive in that I do not want to face the reality of the next few days. We Jews do it right--burial within 72 hours, sitting Shiva for a week in the home, covering the mirrors, and rending the clothes. Mark the time. Mark oneself as a mourner.

Grief is powerful. I've felt it since I heard the news. Felt the shock melt in to the loss, the nevermore of it all. Felt the weight in my chest, my heart. Felt the awkwardness of the words coming out of my mouth as I passed on the news. Felt the strange fatigue as the timeless hours rolled on waiting to bury my dead.

My brother Tom will be buried in the same silty Minnesota earth (for whatever the geographical construct is worth) as my Bubi and Zadi (grandfather for the goyim), and my dad. My mother was cremated with some of her ashes being buried with my dad, some being scattered at Como Lake, and the rest on Mount Rainier, so that I can see where she is (some days at least) in my current homeland.

Written on a plane Monday, August 22, 2011

Thomas Kientzle July 7, 1968-August 17, 2011

2011-08-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like death to make everything else in life seem trivial.

I first met my brother Tom in the days leading up to our mother's funeral. Our mother had had to give me up for adoption at birth, given she had only told her parents (with whom she lived) two weeks before my birth that she was pregnant. A year later, pregnant with Tom, she married her husband and then went on to have four more boys.

We had those days around the funeral, some phone conversations, my second trip to Texas where we had some quality time together, and then he and his wife Becky's stop in Seattle before cruising to Alaska. Too little time.

We had talked about the six of us doing a sibling trip to Minnesota after Tom and Becky moved back there. I thought we could go around and show each other the Important places from our childhoods. But somehow we never made the time. And now there is no more.

Autumnal

2011-08-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

"Autumnal–nothing to do with leaves. It is to do with a certain brownness at the edges of the day… Brown is creeping up on us, take my word for it. Russets and tangerine shades of old gold flushing the very outside edge of the senses…deep shining ochres, burnt umber and parchments of baked earth–reflecting on itself and through itself, filtering the light. At such times, perhaps, coincidentally, the leaves might fall, somewhere, by repute. Yesterday was blue, like smoke."
Rosencrantz and Guidenstern are Dead
Tom Stoppard

I've been starting Autumn at the start of August for a number of years now. It makes the fact that the leaves start changing (and I've seen them already change) and the days start to get shorter more bearable. Summer days here are so long that when the daylight starts to drop off, it really drops off.

Of course, this year more than others summer has been reluctant, which makes its end even harder. To celebrate the end of summer, I jumped in to Crescent Lake out on the peninsula. Cold, clear water. Lovely way to celebrate summer.

Road Trip

2011-07-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

I'm going on a short road trip tomorrow, such an American summer tradition.

Unlike many of my friends growing up, my family did not do a lot of road trip vacations. We were more likely to spend a day driving through the Minnesota farmland, which seems like an odd choice for my parents now that I look back on it. I mainly remember looking at cows and this one trip where we found this steak house out in the middle of nowhere and had a lovely dinner.

Many of my road trips have been solo. Driving from Minnesota to Boston (with my cat Candy), Boston to Seattle. Back and forth to Minnesota for one visit. I think that was the trip where I took my tape recorder and made an Agent Cooper-like tape for my friend Gary.

In thinking about this trip, I realized the little things I was expecting that probably won't happen on this trip. The trip is out to the coast for tide pooling with my friend Maurie, which means no stopping at DQ for a shake or other fast food snacking. This might be why I found myself at Arby's the other night.

Locker 1325

2011-06-29T22:50:00.000-07:00

I've always had problems with some endings. Or at least I tend to think so because I used to keep my mother talking to me at bedtime. Today I let go of something, and really felt the visceralness of doing so.

I got locker 1325 at the IMA when I started grad school. I'd meant to give it up last October but somehow it got put off. And then my special skill at procrastinating at certain tasks ticked in. But today, I made it happen.

I took more or less my once upon a time swim around the pool, took a last shower under the one good shower head, and packed up the contents of my locker, and passed my lock back in to the authorities.

I think the visceral reaction came from having had so many routines over the years, keeping me active. But I have found other ways, other places. It's good to move on.

Florida Mystery Sea Creature

2011-06-16T19:14:00.001-07:00

When I was down in the Florida Keys back in February, I was on a beach in Marathon and saw something moving through the water that I was not able to identify. To me, it looked like a bit of seaweed, shaped a bit like a schnauzer, but its movements seemed purposeful and I watched it swim around for some time. During that, I was able to get some an okay picture and some poor video of it. Any help identifying what it is would be most appreciated.

Watch the video.

Thanks!

Three-Day Holiday Weekend

2011-05-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend starts tomorrow, although my mental outlook makes me feel like it has already begun. It is like these work days right before the holiday are imbued with the same lightness--both of spirit and of significance--as the school days before summer vacation. The thrill of the three-day weekend lingers from those past school days, when Memorial Day was the harbinger of the end of the school year and the start of the summer barbecuing season.

Every year I hope for an invitation to a barbecue, to reveal in that long-standing tradition, but it has been years since I've celebrated Memorial Day that way. Instead, I think of all the things I can do--the movies I've been meaning to see, the books I want to read, the to-do list items that seem so do-able in the vastness of a three-day weekend. Before I realize it, I have plans for at least four 3-day weekends, and thus I'm always disappointed by how much I do get done. All that time disappears faster than seems possible.

And then, of course, comes the even greater disappointment when the next weekend returns to being a measly two days.

This year, I'm trying to be more realistic about my goals for the weekend. Of course, the pristine block of time already has time carved out of it. Last minute plans with a friend tomorrow night. SIFF's Secret Festival on Sunday. A long time friend moving in to my building that day (can I make the mess of my apartment I was planning on and still invite him for a drink?).

Hopefully Monday night will have me feeling rested, productive, and with a sense I had an enjoyable weekend. Maybe I'll even figure out what we are Memorializing. Happy Memorial Day!

Royal Wedding

2011-04-28T19:15:00.001-07:00

Thirty years ago, when Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer, I woke up early to watch the event on tv. As a young girl, the fairy tale nature of a Royal Wedding was heady. And the event did not disappoint. Her dress was picture book perfect, and the royal pomp was turned up to 11 with the carriages and hats, and the balcony kiss.

In the intervening years, we've learned how much that ceremony did not lead to happily ever after. How doomed it was from the start, either in terms of an enduring romance or a happy arrangement for everyone involved. It is difficult not to feel that, as a nineteen year old commoner, Lady Diana got a raw deal. That she was taken advantage of by being asked to take on a role she could not appreciate. Her raw deal only existed, as far as I've heard, because Prince Charles felt he could not marry the woman he really loved, years before Lady Diana came of age.

But Charles and Diana did marry and produce the requisite heir and a spare. And my involvement in their lives continued as I made bets with my parents about their son's names before they were named. I won both times.

As I grew up, I lost interest in the royal family, so much so I was surprised to learn that Prince Edward and Sophia have two children. The combination of getting older along with the divorce and all the scandal that surrounded it, and that came after it, soured any feelings I had had.

I will not be getting up to watch the latest wedding for the heir apparent, which begins at 3AM my time. I have no interest in even recording it for later viewing, although I doubt I'll be able to avoid seeing footage here and there. I've been thankfully avoiding most of the coverage leading up to the event, although in the past few days it has become almost impossible. I would love to know how many more hours of coverage this wedding is getting versus the one thirty years ago.

The real thing I'm taking away from the royal wedding is the reminiscing about the time I did get up to watch. I was living in Minnesota back then, so the hour wasn't as early. My parents had no interest in seeing the wedding, but I had been trained since I was 4 or so to get up on Saturday morning to watch cartoons and have cereal without disturbing my parents, so getting up by myself was not unusual. I have never been a morning person, however, so it does interest me that I was so willing to get up early for this event. I do wonder if my Saturday morning training lead me to my level of independence, or if it was some innate independence that allowed that situation to work.

I think my motivation comes down to feeling, or wanting to feel, a connection to something so historic. The stakes for royalty are not what they were even a hundred years ago, given how many countries the offspring of Queen Victoria wound up ruling, but they are still part of an institution that has continued, in various forms, for hundreds of years.

I wish Prince William and Kate a lovely day tomorrow and a love story that grows more wonderful as the years go by.

2010 Retrospective

2011-01-23T21:51:00.000-08:00

It annoys me that almost all of the year in review stuff happens in December. Shouldn't the last days of a year count as much, or depending upon the events that occur, more than the the 10 or 11/12ths that come before? (how long do they take to put together?)

In general, the years all blur together, with a few highlights managing to anchor at least some memories, allowing a rough history to be retrieved with careful thought.
While 2010 was winding down, I thought about some of the things I associated with the year. They are not necessarily anything indelibly connected in my memory to 2010 but rather the meaningful but ordinary things that I noticed going on.

In no particular order:

Shallots: I was really introduced to shallots (in terms of becoming aware of) back in 2007 when Daniel and I took cooking lessons from Bruce at Le Gourmand, but my own move to using them was slow. It started with doing more Thai cooking, and my Thai-inspired Thanksgiving-style meal November 2009. 2010 saw shallots become a staple in my kitchen, helped along by the handy packs Trader Joe's sells them in. I like shallots a lot. Much more than onions and perhaps even more than garlic.
Coconut water: I knew this was a hot thing when Safeway had a variety of coconut water products in a cooler. I'd not really heard about its isotonic properties, which apparently have propelled the market to introduce a variety of coconut water beverages. I did try it. It is nice. A little weird as a mixer. The option with aloe added is supposed to be particularly beneficial.
Swearing on TV: I think part of this was my starting to watch Craig Ferguson in 2009, but I experienced a lot of bleeped swearing on television in 2010. The Daily show was doing it, along with shows like 'Running Wilde' (hysterical but quickly canceled Fox show). This week, even the NBC Thursday night line up featured bleeped swearing. Swearing on TV has come a long way.
Kitchari: 2010 was the year I learned to make kitchari right. And now I cannot stop making it. I even have some leftover from yesterday because I made a full batch but haven't managed to eat it all yet.
Twitter: I started Twittering in 2010. I'm using it as a way to document songs that play in my head. It's been very enlightening, but I believe it is private, at least for now. I'm guessing no one cares. In the last week or so, I actually started following a few folks on Twitter. Not sure I want to keep that up, though. I'm pretty much ignoring them. I find it interesting that the folks I follow seem to spew their Tweets--nothing for days and then ... the deluge!

Interesting how food-based so much of it was! I did have another thing, hoarding, but my fact-checking clearly showed it belonged to 2009. That's why it is important to anchor things down as they go. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and anchor things once in a while, it all becomes a blur.

Loose Change

2011-01-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

It's the time of year when I convert last year's spare change into a more useful form of currency. It started after I moved in to my current apartment. That's when I decided to put a dish by a front door that collectes my loose change. The dish is also the place where keys can have a home (which greatly reduces the number of times they need to be hunted for) and a spare Chapstick can be on hand if needed.

I do also keep change in my bags, tend to pull out any quarters for laundry, and am pretty good about actually using it when paying cash, but there are always time when either I have no change with me or don't have enough change, so the accumulation of loose change always outweighs the efforts on my part to rid myself of it.

When I first implemented the front door dish, I had no plan for what to do when it got full, which it did in a little over a year. Then one day I was in a QFC and was reminded of the existence of Coinstar. I had no interest in paying a fee to convert my coins in to something more useful, but thankfully other options existed. I chose the Amazon gift certificate over the option to donate to charity.

After that, I started the practice of an end of the year emptying of the dish. And then eventually I manage to take the zip lock baggie of coins in to QFC and the Coinstar machine. Today, the total was $16.31 (plus a dime and penny that, for whatever reason, the machine rejected). All that remains is a little Amazon shopping.

End Time

2010-12-31T17:47:00.000-08:00

It's New Years Eve, the perfect time for reflection. Or avoiding reflection with heavy drinking. I think I'll take them in order, and start with the reflecting.

While I do have problems with some endings, the change in year is typically not one of them. It is all the cycle of life and, once the days start getting longer, the worst of any year is over. And a new year, like a newly fallen snow, casts a clean blank slate over what is already there allowing for hope and new perspective, even if it does grow dirty and melt away eventually. What is bothering me this year is how many things that I had hoped to accomplish but did not get done. Especially since a lot of those items are things I have been hoping to accomplish for a long, long time.

I've realized lately that while my sense of time is fairly accurate (I tend to be able to tell what time it is, without any help, within 15 minutes or so), my sense of time passing in the broader arena--multiple years, decades, and such, is very poor. I think it is only natural to feel that one has all the time in the world, but at a certain point, that premise rings less true than it once did. It is easy to put something off, and once put off to keep putting it off. I have been working on that, but without the handle on time, I still have a long way to go.

I think this year for the first time in ages I will make some resolutions, the first of which is to get a better handle on this whole time thing, before it actually does run out. Hopefully, that will allow me to actually accomplish those items languishing on my to-do list. Fingers crossed.

Happy New Year!

Enjoy the Silence

2010-12-19T20:31:00.001-08:00

Driving home the other night, I realized it was more or less the anniversary of my car crash last December. Modern society is not much for admitting that humans, despite all their technical advancements, are still fragile beings, at least if you want more than a pill to "fix" whatever is making you feel fragile, so it is easy to minimize the trauma that one goes through. Especially in a day and age where the most horrific tragedies enter every aspect of life through the media and Internet. You walked away, how bad can it be?

Not bad, perhaps, but impacted (excuse the pun).

For most of my life, I've been a pretty good sleeper. There are few times in my life when I've had trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. One of the first times I recall not being able to sleep was when, in junior high, a male friend of mine told me he liked me and I did not share the feeling.

But even that was after my radio days. I used to have a red and white cube radio that looked like a die. The dial was on the top like a big one, and the on/off and volume buttons were the 2 side. In fifth grade, at least on Sunday nights, I used to go to bed listening to the radio, to Casey Kasum's top 100. It was the age of disco and I still recall having to endure 'You Can Ring My Bell' which I believe was performed by a school teacher from somewhere in Pennsylvania.

More recently, I found periods of great stress led me to need something to listen to while falling asleep. My last breakup had me take to listening to my one audio book, Neil Gaiman's 'The Anansi Boys' as read by Lenny Henry. After the crash, I started playing the podcasts I'd started listening to in Hawaii last year to fall asleep. Nothing puts me to sleep quicker than Michael Feldman's "Whad'Ya Know."

In thinking back to grade school, I had thought it was my mother's health that was the issue, but now I'm wondering if it wasn't school itself, at least if I was only listening on Sunday nights. I know people who have bad Sunday night stress. Maybe I did too back then.

I'm to the point where I can get to sleep easily without the podcasts, although I still feel the unease if I've gone to bed late of trying without it. Of embracing the silence once more. Or, perhaps more accurately, the voices inside my head.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-20T13:06:00.000-08:00

Last month, Neil Gaiman challenged his fans to celebrate Halloween by giving away scary books. It fit in nicely with my own plan this month to celebrate Thanksgiving by sending out cards expressing my thanks to folks in my life, both past and present.

Thank yous seem to have suffered in our culture over the years. Thank you cards are not sent, we're all too busy. Too busy to be thankful and appreciative for what we have. No wonder people often say they did not know what they had until it is gone.

This means it can be harder to give that thanks, to acknowledge the sentiment, since we have so little experience it seems awkward. And some things it feels easier to thank others for than others. Some because they are just the nature of the relationship. But I think those are the most important cases, where appreciation is best expressed.

An apology

2010-11-20T12:54:00.000-08:00

To the man with the blue car at Paseo today:

I do apologize for any distress that I caused you. It honestly never would have occurred to me to apologize for tapping your car while parallel parking unless there was damage but then usually the car owner is not around. In this case, the only reason I knew you were the car's owner was because you purposefully hit my car in what I considered to be a very aggressive act. When you raised the issue of an apology later, saying you did not understand where I was coming from, I was disappointed you walked away without trying to hear what that might be, and without seeming to understand how your actions altered whatever might have happened otherwise. Say, for example, you had just looked at your bumper after I had parked, without the car hitting before hand, I would have expressed concern as to whether everything was alright.

I do thank you for giving me things to meditate on. The range of when apologies should be given, and expressing myself in a way that better promotes hearing, even in those walking away.

Cleansing

2010-11-15T21:33:00.000-08:00

I am just finishing up an Ayurvedic cleanse called panchakarma. It's involved a restricted diet, massage, and lots of oil.

Tonight, I'm feeling nicely energetic, even after a problematic Monday. If my life were a story, I'd say it was the oddly warm, extremely powerful wind blowing tonight.

I'm at least coming out of panchakarma with a new favorite comfort food, that hopefully is healthier than my previous ones. Kitchari is the main diet during the treatments of panchakarma. It is highly digestible, so recommended for after overindulgence. Or just when you need something comforting. Here is my recipe, slightly adopted from one I got from my practitioner. I can not emphasize how nummy it is and how much you need to be eating it.

Kitchari

Makes 2+ servings

1/2 C mung dal
1/2 C rice or 1/2 C quinoa

2+ T sesame oil
1 t black mustard seeds
1 t cumin seeds

1 t tumeric
pinch hing (aka Asafoetida)
1 T crushed coriander seeds

2 C boiling water

1 T sesame seeds powdered
1/2 T salt
1 T tikka masala
1 T shaved dried coconut

1 T brown sugar
2 T ghee

Soak dal for 1 or 2 hours. Rinse rice or quinoa. Drain and mix.

In a pot, heat the sesame oil. Add black mustard seeds and cumin seeds. When they start popping, add the crushed coriander seeds, tumeric, and hing. Mix. Add the dal and grain. Saute for 3-4 minutes. Add boiling water, masala, salt, powdered sesame seeds, and coconut. Cook on medium heat until almost done. Add ghee and sugar. Stir and cook for another 2-3 minutes on low heat. Garnish with cilantro and serve warm.

Kayaking poetry

2010-08-15T13:50:00.000-07:00

These were written on my Johnstone Strait kayak vacation earlier this month:

Across glassy seas
kayaking together to
banana slug's home

Our kayak pod did sail
hoping to see a whale
Johnstone Strait we tried
orcas we espied
'cept Matt asleep up trail

Poppies

2010-05-31T22:11:00.000-07:00

I was coming out of a Trader Joe's on my way to Des Moines beach Saturday when I saw the Veteran selling poppies. My immediate thought was, "It isn't Veterans' Day" but then I connected the dots. It is odd that Memorial Day can be so detached from the memorializing. It's about having a three-day weekend, maybe a barbecue or picnic, and at least ads for sales if not actually going to the mall or Target.

I bought a poppy and wore it this weekend, and spent at least a little time memorializing. For most of my life, I've had little connection to the military. My birth mom was a military brat, though, and one of my half-brothers and an aunt served. I should learn more about that.

I do thank everyone who has served in our military. Happy Memorial Day.

Big Box Office

2010-04-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

I saw 2 movies in theaters this past week: Hot Tub Time Machine and How to Train Your Dragon. They are listed as #3 and #1 on the box office chart, respectively but that doesn't seem fair to me, since I paid $5 and $12.50 (again, respectively) to see them. The additional ticket price of 3D movies skews the box office numbers, and highlights it is a poor way to show what is "The number 1 movie in the country" or of all time. I'd love to see a system that counted tickets, and perhaps threw in screen count in the equation.

How to Train Your Dragon

****
This is another movie whose title first attracted my attention. I'd not heard of the books it was loosely based on, but it seems that foundation serves the film well. The characters have personality and it is consistently maintained with quick, witty dialog.

Hiccup is a young Viking who doesn't fit in with the rest of Berk, the island where they and their sheep (so adorable!) live. Berk has many drawbacks, such as 9 months of snow and 3 months of hail, but the biggest issue is the dragons who raid the village for their sheep. Berk is anxious to fight dragons, like the rest of the island, but has no talent for it. He works at a blacksmiths and builds tools to fight dragons. Testing one of his tools, he manages to down an elusive Night Fury dragon. He finds the dragon injured, but cannot bring himself to kill it, which would prove his belonging to the Vikings. Instead, he befriends the injured dragon, and is able to take his dragon knowledge and use it in his dragon fighting classes. That's the foundation. The real conflict follows from this set up.

I'll admit, I'm delighted by 3D. It was pretty minimally used, maybe even too minimally used in terms of things popping off the screen, but the island of Berk and its surrounds are beautifully rendered. The dragons are colorful, diverse, and not all cartoon-y. Toothless, the main dragon in the film, combines gecko features with feline characteristics into a delightful hero. The sheep have an amazing anxious look. The only thing I didn't really like was the size difference between the adults and the children, which is a little disconcerting.

HTTM and Apocalypse Now

2010-04-01T19:14:00.000-07:00

I saw two movies Saturday: Hot Tub Time Machine and Apocalypse Now: Redux.

Hot Tub Time Machine

****
Went to the Oak Tree Cinema for the early matinee with Ryan to see Hot Tub Time Machine. From the moment I heard the title, I felt compelled to see this movie, although I must confess my total fear it would be awful. John Cusak's presence was a small gleam of hope that it would be worth seeing, although it was confusing why he'd be in the movie, unless he'd lost a bet.

But John Cusak and the '80's once again provided solid, silly entertainment. I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Even the vomit joke was even funny! Not sure how to talk about it without spoilers, so I think I'll leave it at that for now.

Apocalypse Now: Redux

***
Netflix sent me two disks, containing both versions of this movie. I originally assumed that the movies were each on their own disk. Not the case. Act One of both films was on the first disk, Act Two on the other. This made the length of each movie unclear.

I'd decided to watch the Redux, to see what the director had changed after 20 years. Turns out the Redux is about 50 minutes longer than the original, with added footage from a French plantation scene among other things. It was a very long, slow trip.

I think this movie would have been better seen when it came out. It'd be great if we could see a movie without any of the cultural references or history that comes after it. This movie suffers from all that has come since it came out 30 years ago.

Afterward, I read Wikipedia's information on various issues with filming--Brando's being overweight, Martin Sheen's heart attack, sets destroyed by a typhoon, and a director who didn't know how to end the movie. It is an impressive film, although I'm not sure I really liked it.

Bad Jew

2010-03-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the first night of Passover. No seder for me tonight, and, in my amazing ability to eat pork on Jewish holidays, I had a pulled-pork sandwich from the faux barbecue I made over the weekend. I figure after the pork, the bun was hardly relevant (it was frozen, if that is any consolation). I did wash it down with 2 glasses of nero d'avolo, my favorite red wine.

I do do a seder every year with my pseudo-family and other bad Jews who, since we are all busy, schedule it to our convenience. For the first time in awhile, we'll actually be doing it during Passover, this Wednesday night. I bring the charoset and a not-Kosher-for-Passover dessert. This year I'm doing an orange poppy seed cake.

I've never been one to really honor the restrictions of Passover. I remember one year my mother baked some weird bread for my sandwiches, since I wouldn't eat matzoh. My mother was good about Passover, although I think we sealed up the non-compliant food in a cupboard rather than tossing it.

My two favorite Passover things as a child were the fruit slices and the yellow cake with chocolate frosting that came in a box with its own pan. Haven't seen that recently, but maybe I'll peruse the discount items once Passover is over.

Resurrection

2010-03-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

Spring. The time of rebirth, when the cold dark barrenness of Winter gives way to the warmer lighter fertility that is Spring.

Unfortunately for me, that fertility brings about pollen-laden air that makes me tired and causes an excess in my histamine production.

This year, that has been exacerbated (or perhaps vice-versa) by a virus of some sort. It started with a cough the night of February 21st and was full-blown illness by the morning of February 22nd. And then, it didn't let go.

After sustaining a relapse around the 10th, I finally started feeling better last Wednesday. Instead of being so tired that an extra 34 hours of sleep sounded good every day, it felt like an extra 5 or 6 would be okay. I worked full days at work for the first time possibly since the illness began. Over the weekend, I slept heavily Saturday, napping deeply in the afternoon. Sunday was was, scarily, more tired than I had been the day before. And then today.

Today, I am resurrected.

After a month (!) of not thinking too clearly, of having everything be harder than it should be, of just being too, too tired, I feel normal! Well, the normal started last Wednesday, it was just tired, punchy normal. Today, I've been functioning normally, and perhaps a little more so because it is so wonderful to get the things done that I've not felt up to, some of them for a month!

I'm giddy now. Tired, in a good way, from all that I've done. I think I'll stretch and watch some tv (definitely 'Big Bang Theory,' and if I'm bad 'Castle,' too).

Dry Thai

2010-02-21T21:31:00.000-08:00

In tidying the cupboards, I discovered I had a lot more coconut milk than I knew I did. I started fantasizing about cooking up peas in it for a side dish. Then, last Thursday, I had creamed spinach and okra in coconut milk at Pam's Kitchen. Very delicious, if a bit sweet.

I wound up taking one of the little cans of coconut milk (5.6 ounces) and heating it with chopped shallots and cilantro, kafir lime leaves, and chunks of lemongrass and Thai hot peppers so the flavors were infused. I removed the leaves and lemongrass chunks and added shopped spinach. Came out really nice.

For an entree, I made a Thai-inspired dry curry. I sauteed shallots, added chopped lemongrass and Thai hot peppers with Thai curry. Added chopped purple potatoes and cooked until almost done. Added chunks of chicken and cooked covered until the chicken was cooked. Added the frozen peas and chopped mushrooms. Good, but I think I prefer Indian dry curries in the end.

Random Thoughts

2010-01-24T20:20:00.000-08:00

In the Memorial portion of the Screen Actors Guild this year, the footage ended with Patrick Swayze ascending to heaven, and I thought wouldn't it be odd if Patrick Swayze was now haunting Demi Moore.

Has anyone ever pulled the "What you talkin' about, Willis?" line with Bruce Willis?

It's my birthday

2010-01-12T15:34:00.000-08:00

Another birthday is here. I've celebrated in my traditional ways--making a cake, seeing a movie, going to OPH for breakfast. Daniel and I are going out to dinner later, although the where is a surprise (the gift may or may not be!).

My age is one of those let down ages. I'd had high hopes for 42, but they didn't really pan out. I learned some Important stuff, as well as having a bit of a crisis of faith that I'm still sorting out. Now, I am feeling more like a grown up, but that might just be my first pair of reading glasses. Or the car accident. I was actually coming from ordering the glasses when I got in the car accident.

I also have done some recentering that feels like it is working. Over the weekend, I bought myself a hard-cover copy of 'The Tao of Pooh' and reread that, along with some of the Vedic sutras and this Deepak Chopra book I have. I also started re-reading 'The Te of Piglet,' which is even more preachy than I remembered it.

I'm starting the year feeling there is work to be done, but I can do it. If, of course, I can decide the best way to work--hard or tao-ish or something else.

Early liminality

2009-12-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

Usually this is the start of my liminal time, the small stretch of time between the end of one calendar year and the beginning of my new age. This year, I've been liminal for the past two weeks. That's when I crashed my car.

The world was already a little off-kilter after a conversation that provided a new perspective on things in my life. And the morning of the crash, I was ordering my first pair of prescription glasses (reading only). I was heading into work, getting on I-5 southbound, when an SUV merging on to the on ramp failed to yield to me. I slammed on the brakes to avoid it hitting me and wound up going into the concrete barrier on the east side of the lane, hitting just below the driver side headlights. I spun and scraped and bounced back across the lane, coming to rest with my back bumper against the metal railing on the west side of the lane. Somehow I'd wound up in front of the non-yielding car, which did stop to make sure I was okay.

I felt oddly okay at the time, but as time passed and I talked to the insurance company and brought my car in to be assessed, I started feeling pretty weird. Partly the ickyness after a massive adrenalin rush, and partly the aftermath of life suddenly going horribly wrong.

It did not help that my bad "carma" continued after the accident. I was given a rental car that was uncomfortable for me to drive. When I went out to return it the next morning, the driver's side window was broken. I cut my left calf driving it back to the rental place. I opened the door of the car being used to drive me to my office into my forehead, cutting myself on the eyebrow.

My friend Alex said it took him a week to feel right after his accident. I thought his sensitive nature was to blame, but I had the same experience. I did not like going out, even without getting in a car. Cars were all around and I didn't trust them not to come too close.

Monday the insurance company finally okayed the repairs to my car, and I was told it would be about 2 weeks until I got it back. I'd been fortunate in that Daniel had gone out of town the day after my accident, so I borrowed his car until he returned Tuesday. It is a manual, which I'm not used to driving, so again things felt weird, but at least nothing went wrong! I'm picking up a rental car later today for the rest of the time until I get my car back.

10 years later

2009-11-30T17:50:00.000-08:00

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the WTO's stint in Seattle, which sparked the Battle in Seattle. The morning of November 30, 1999, I awoke in my then-boyfriend's apartment in downtown Seattle and we celebrated the first anniversary of our first date. His apartment was half a block from the Paramount Theatre so we had front-row seats for the action: the line of school buses barricading the front of the theater, the folks dressed up as turtles trying to crawl over the bus barricade, the line of police in their riot gear. At some point, I decided to brave the insanity to go the half-block to the bus tunnel and go to work. By nightfall, downtown was locked down until the end of the conference.

Even with the initial on-the-spot exposure, the whole event seemed surreal. Seattle is normally a very safe city, and it was a strain to have the uncertainty in that safety with its lack of normalcy. The looting of downtown storefronts was one of the most upsetting things to me. It tainted the legitimacy of the protesters message, and heightened the unlawfulness, putting everyone at greater danger.

I'm not sure even now that I have a good sense of what, if anything, was accomplished on either side 10 years ago. I remember another old boyfriend saying, in the wake of the Rodney King verdict, that he couldn't believe people weren't in the streets protesting. In general, we Americans are too comfortable to do that, although it seems like there have been more local protests in the last 10 years than in the '90's in general. The Bush administration, and thus most Republicans, largely ignored the war protesters. The Democrats seem to be more swayed by the Tea Party protesters. I wish they would instead acknowledge the difference of opinion without caving to them, since so much of their protestation is not based on reality.

Protesting has a place to raise awareness of issues, but there has to be more that happens to affect real change. I'd like Americans to be able to have discussions about the issues that face our countries, rather then the incivility that seems to endemic in the so-called Town Hall meetings going on. What happened to I may not agree with you but I will fight to the death your right to say it? Working together despite differences is a cornerstone of what America has been and should be. Can't we all just get along?

Hawaiian Halloween

2009-10-31T16:29:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a trip to Hawaii, where Halloween decorations were in full swing. For me, the warm sunny tropics don't really say "Halloween." Cobwebs and other staples seem out of place, although the crabs that live in the lava rocks along the sea shore would make good candidates for spooky local mascots. Otherwise, Hawaii's only endemic land mammal is a bat, but one of their spiders is the smiley face spider so... Here are a couple of pics I took. I didn't bother with the garland of shiny 2D pumpkins that adorned the rope line at my hotel's front desk.

Searchlight

2009-10-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

Driving home after 10PM tonight, I saw a searchlight hitting the clouds over Seattle. It made me nostalgic for when I was younger and my friends and I would try to drive to the source of the searchlight. It was never as exciting as we imagined it would be.

Tonight, I found the source of the searchlight without even making the effort to, which did give me a little thrill. This time, the source was probably the coolest I've come upon. It was the KUBE 93fm Haunted House. It actually looks pretty impressive from the outside. The Web site says tonight was the opening night, and it is open until midnight. Maybe I should have stopped, but that was never really the point of the searchlight search.

Day of Atonement

2009-09-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

At sundown, Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement began. It's never been a holiday I celebrate, at least not fully. It's a fasting day and I do not do well with fasting. It is supposed to help one focus on spiritual matters, but I tend to focus on being hungry and having a headache. Since I wasn't going to do it correctly (I actually almost always manage, without thinking about it, to have pork on Yom Kippur!), I decided years ago to just have my own personal day of atonement. Today was that day.

Atonement is an interesting concept, the idea that you can make amends for moral wrongs, especially the personal ones. The desire for a clean slate is a strong one. To be cleansed of one's wrong doings, it is a powerful promise.

I couldn't help but think, though, that while this cleansing makes one feel good, focusing on how to have fewer things to atone for next year would be better. Looking at what I felt I had to atone for, I came up with being more patient and compassionate, and letting go of how I think things should be as ways to reduce next year's list of atonements. Thinking about the work to do going forward is a bit of a buzz kill, but maybe that isn't a bad way to end a day of atonement.

Autumnal Equinox

2009-09-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

On my iPhone, I have various cities around the globe that I've been to, or want to go to, on the weather app. I've been noticing that most of the cities are in the 65-80 degree range lately. Today, that was true for all the cities but my own: Seattle. It was supposed to be 91 today, but I think it only made it to 86 or so. We've really had a warm, sunny summer/early autumn. Wonder how long it will last?

DDS

2009-09-10T20:43:00.000-07:00

I got my teeth cleaned today. I'm always a little amazed that we modern folk sit passively (or is it actively?) while another person has their hands in our mouths wielding sharp implements, occasionally brushing by nerves along the way.

I can remember going to the dentist when I was 4 or 5. Then, the visit was more about brush cleaning than implement cleaning. The worst part was the trays of fluoride crammed in my mouth with the old-fashioned timer slowly ticking away the minutes until they would take them out. Nasty stuff. The thing I liked about early teeth care were the little red chews that supposedly highlighted where I should brush.

The early indoctrination must have worked, though, because even at times when I was without insurance, I made a point of getting my teeth cleaned fairly regularly. I would go to dental or hygienist school, where prices were low but time commitment was high.

Despite the regular cleanings, I have not always been good about the daily care of my teeth. I stopped lying to my dentist about how well I kept up when I was in my early twenties. Then in my early thirties I got really good about not only brushing twice a day, but flossing (thanks, in part, to my boyfriend at the time). I've kept that up pretty well since.

Now a days, the only real issue I have is old fillings. I was told that most silver fillings last about 20 years. Most of mine are at least 30 years old. My childhood dentist was awesome (if only I could remember his name!). I had one section redone a couple of years ago, the old silver replaced with enamel-colored. Almost makes me wish the others would need to go.

Curtain

2009-09-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, I set myself the task of reading all of Agatha Christie's fiction books, including short story collections (but not plays or anything published under a pseudonym), in the order they were published. This comes to 81 books, excluding those only published in the UK.

I read my first Agatha Christie when I was in fourth grade, 'Cards on the Table.' It was her 20th full-length novel and 13th Poirot. It's a well-crafted story bringing together Poirot with two crime fighters from other novels as well as introducing Ariadne Oliver, the fictional mystery novelist whose detective is a Finn that she's come to dislike and wonders why she chose such a character, especially as she knows nothing about Finns. No one can say she didn't have a sense of humor!

I certainly had no appreciation for any of this reading that first novel, but I liked it well enough that I read more. I tried Miss Marple, but found I did not care for the one or two I read. I'm not sure why that was, as I found them enjoyable this time around. Maybe I did not understand Miss Marple's think the worst of people attitude, or just couldn't appreciate its usefulness.

Over the years, I knew I had read many of the books, but could not be sure which I had read and which I had not. My solution? Go ahead and read them all. I'm a little amazed that I've been reading them for a year now (with some other books thrown in). And now, I have reached the end with 'Curtain,' the last Hercule Poirot novel. I did read the last Miss Marple, published a year after 'Curtain,' first since both it and 'Curtain were written during the second World War. I also skipped a collection of short stories, 'Poirot's Early Cases,' which I think I'll savor over the coming year or so (either that or use like a nicotine patch if I suffer any withdrawal symptoms).

I'm not sure how much of it is the setting--England between the world wars--but I enjoy her early works the best. Later, she focused on evil, sometimes to better affect than others, but nothing she did really touched the evil we find commonplace today. She was always a conservative upper class English woman that never got too down and dirty (don't be mislead by modern adaptations like 'Easy to Kill' that feature incest; Christie never went anywhere close to that!).

It does seem that as time went on, she needed a better editor. Perhaps, once you've reached the acclaim and sales she did within her lifetime, no one is willing to edit the way every author needs to be. Mysteries especially need to be clear and tidy, which makes the lack of editing harder to take.

One thing that surprised me the most about Agatha Christie's body of work was the number of stories that did not involve Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple, or Tommy and Tuppence. She wrote several espionage/thriller type novels, as well as a novel set in ancient Egypt. While the earlier ones are generally pretty good, she never would have become famous on most of these.

The biggest surprise, though, was how little her two most famous detectives appeared in some of their novels. Miss Marple especially. It's more like she's got a cameo role in some of her novels. Most of the early Poirot novels are narrated by Arthur Hastings, keeping Poirot at a distance. It's an odd change for someone used to reading the first person narrative of Dashiell Hammett or, more recently, Kinky Friedman, or the involved personal lives of modern detectives like Harry Fairsteen or Elvis Cole.

Part of me wishes I'd written something about each one, but I'm not really one for writing reviews. Maybe I need to redefine reviews, short and sweet, just something to give my impression rather than any real analysis or detailed documenting.

Reading 'Curtain' is like meeting up with a good old friend. Arthur Hastings narrating, Poirot still as sharp as ever even if he is wheelchair bound, and a puzzle that is familiar but with its own novelty. Plus, it was written still in the golden age of her writing, in a world that was not yet past WWII. Nothing better.

The return of my mojo

2009-08-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough 10 or so weeks, with both my mojo and sleep being difficult to find. I've been stressed at work (for the last 6 months!), stressed by the classes I was taking (just finished a certificate program in virtual worlds last Thursday), stressed by my main source of support not being as available as before. The lack of sleep just made the stress a whole vicious cycle, leading me to be sick much of August.

I'm someone used to going to bed, getting to sleep quickly, and waking up with or just before my alarm. I've not set my alarm since sometime in May, maybe even before then, but I've not been late in the mornings (slow, sometimes, but not late!). I cannot be sure when the last eight hours of solid sleep was.

Stress has me waking up two to six hours after I go to sleep. Right now, I'm falling right back asleep, but I can't seem to not wake up. Often, I'm too warm or too cold.

Friday and Saturday, I went to bed early, around 10PM and, with the gap, was able to sleep many, many hours. It's helped me feel much, much better. Much more myself. It's a tonic.

Seattle Parks

2009-07-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

This summer, I've made a point of finally exploring two of the biggest parks in Seattle, Discovery and Seward. I'd been to a picnic at Discovery years ago, and may have taken a quick look at Seward, back when I checked out a shared housing situation there years ago, but I've never really taken the time to look around.

May's low Memorial Day tide gave me an opportunity to check out the sea life at Discovery Park, which is at the end of the Magnolia peninsula in Puget Sound. The tide was low enough to see the necks of geoduck clams (geoduck in Lushootseed means "dig deep") along the sandy portion of the beach, although most of the sea life I saw was on the rockier norther shore. From my old apartment on Alki, I could see the light of the light house in the picture here.

This past weekend, I checked out Seward Park, It occupies Bailey peninsula, which juts out into Lake Washington. Lake Washington's fresh water lacks the diverse sea life of the Sound, but does have old growth trees. It's been a Seattle park for almost 100 years.

Rock Shabbat

2009-07-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you the last time I went to synagogue. And it's probably been over a year that I've been meaning to go to Rock Shabbat at Temple De Hirsch Sinai, which happens the 2nd Friday of every month in Seattle. This past Friday night, I finally made it.

I don't think I've ever enjoyed a service more. My family was not much for going to temple, my mom and I would sometimes go to services for the high holidays, or I would go with my Bubi to services at her shul, which was conservative enough that the women actually sat separately from (behind) the men. The services I had been to were not very musical. At least, I don't recall the prayers being sung the way I've heard them back East. Even then, the music was simple. But not Rock Shabbat.

The biggest surprise about Rock Shabbat was that Rabbi Daniel Weiner played guitar. Somehow I was expecting the rock band to be more of a cantor or choir than that. It really worked and while I still found myself not always sure of the words, it didn't seem to matter as much.

There was a short sermon, too, in the midst of all the music. Talk of the 100th anniversary meeting of the NAACP, which happened Saturday, and the involvement of the Jews at a time when it may not have been the wisest move, but that Jews were always committed to fighting injustice.

During the service, I found myself wanting to bring all my Jewish friends back next month. It's definitely worth experiencing.

Summer comes early to Seattle

2009-06-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

June is usually gray, wet, and colder than a summer month should be, with the standard wisdom being that summer in Seattle begins July 5th. But right now, it is 84 degrees in my living room. I've felt a bit like Goldilocks today, with my office being too cold, my home being too hot, and maybe the outdoors being just right (after walking the Vegas Strip last July, the 80's don't seem as hot as they used to).

I remember moving into my first apartment in the area and having a friend from Minnesota ask if it had air conditioning. I had to explain that a/c was not something many people had, given the limited number of days it got above 80. The average highs for June, July, August, and September are 70, 75, 76, and 70. I do have two fans, now turned on their highest speeds.

The thing is, it's been nice and sunny for an unusually long time--two weeks of sun, almost all above 68. As a Seattlite, I'm finding this a little disorienting. Normally, there's a rush to enjoy the sun because of it is a limited time offering. Even worse is when the sun is during the week and the weekends are cloudy or rainy. But none of that applies. It's all been glorious, if a little warmer than I like now. The end may be in site, though. Today for the first time I've seen rain in the extended forecast--next Monday!

Some Strange

2009-04-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

As much as I hate to admit it, I am a creature of habits. Especially when it comes to food. It's not that I am unwilling to try new places or things, it's just that I've tried enough stuff to know what I like, and some stuff I like a lot more than the rest.

I'm not sure why, but April has been a month of not ordering the usual thing, and not traveling the same old paths. It felt good to mix it up even this little bit, like reconnecting with a part of myself, but I can't say I discovered anything I liked more than my old favorites. I guess it is just a reminder to keep putting in the effort, for once even the old favorites were new taste treats.

February Wrap Up

2009-02-28T19:49:00.000-08:00

I remember my first February in Seattle. I had this feeling that something was missing. I realized it was winter. I'd missed winter. And then the daffodils started coming up mid-month. I was convinced they were suicidal little daffodils, but they knew the climate better than I did.

I now take it for granted that the daffodils will come up in February (one year it was the end of January when they started coming up). This year, it has seemed colder than normal. More overnights at freezing. More snow: I woke up to snow Thursday, much to my surprise. Thursday was also the day I saw the first daffodils. Walking into work, I saw their green stems coming up. Going to lunch, I saw them in full bloom. I don't think the snow mattered to them.

February has always been the month when I feel myself start to bloom. The days get perceptively longer (although I'll admit it was only the amazingly short Seattle Winter days that got me to consciously notice).

I realized the other day it was ten years ago this month that I moved to West Seattle. I'll skip the cliches about how we don't notice how much time has passed, although I will take the opportunity to blame W for it. I spent eight years living across the street from the Puget Sound. I had not thought I'd be there that long, at least not in the same apartment. And when I left I didn't move away from the place I'd moved to.

My parting February thought is this:
Did anyone else hear less about Black History Month this year? Is it because we are living black history?

Super Bowl Sunday

2009-02-01T15:22:00.000-08:00

My first Sunday of life was the first Super Bowl Sunday. I don't suppose that would have meant much if my home had not been filled with football games every weekend during the season. My father was a big sports fan. He was a sports columnist on the Minnesota Daily, the University of Minnesota paper, when he was in college. He stayed a newspaperman, but earned his living as a copy editor, winning awards for headlines he wrote over the years. He still followed sports avidly. And while basketball was his favorite sport (in addition to being the reason my parents ever met), it is football I recall the most.

I'm sure the cold, snowy Minnesota winters combined with my family's indoor tendencies helped that. Plus, although I don't think I really thought about it at the time, it was a way to spend time with my father. (I'm sure a little of it was that was what was on television; although it didn't really change once I had my own television as a teenager.)

It's funny to watch football now (Pittsburgh just got the first td; or not). While a lot of my knowledge is out of date (especially with teams; Arizona? I know its been awhile too, and I can only hope the Cardinals will reset like the Raiders did!), I have knowledge about the games, judgments about the plays. I'd probably have more had my father been more into teaching it, but he really just wanted to watch. So I came up with cheers for the Vikings defense: Interception, incomplete, fumble, fumble at our feet! (sadly, the Vikings usually found a way to lose games, at least the 4 Super Bowls they were in during my childhood.)

They had a football pool at work, too. I played some years and, by the girlie method of picking nicer helmets and names, tended to do better than my dad. I know at least once I won a week.

Growing up, I was more of a baseball fan. One of my parents friends, who also worked for one of the St. Paul papers (back in the day when there was a morning paper and an evening paper), used to take me to the Twins games with the paper's tickets. But football was part of my home and my growing up.

50 Quarters

2009-01-30T19:53:00.000-08:00

Today, I got the Hawaii state quarter, thus completing my 50 state quarter collection. It's a little weird to think I've been collecting state quarters for around ten years at this point; I'm not 100% sure when I started, but definitely by March 2000 at the latest. Having only 5 quarters released per year meant it was a slow task and, by my rules, not very active.

I decided when I started to collect them, that the quarters had to come to me, either in change, or from someone I knew. At the end of 2003, with my 23rd quarter, Maine, I started writing down when I got them. Looking back, I see some years I only got 4 quarters, which undoubtedly enhances the feeling of inactivity for the quest. Last year, I actually got 6, but not the final Hawaii coin. It was released November 3, 2008, so not bad, time-wise.

I don't have one of those maps for my quarters, either. Just a tin with some buttons and other items (so that is where my whistle is!). Maybe someday I'll do something else with them, but right now the collector part of me is pretty pleased to be done!

Snow!

2009-01-25T14:49:00.000-08:00

It's been flurrying on and off for much of the day. This snow is what Seattle snow should always be: drifting lovely through the air and then melting on the ground; like true Seattle rain, a non-event. A small amount had accumulated before I left the house at 9:30 this morning, but it was on the cars and lawns, not the roads and sidewalks.

It's nice to have this reminder that snow doesn't have to be paralyzing. Plus, I always feel that if it is going to be cold outside, there may as well be snow to go along with it!

I have realized over the past few weeks that there is something besides snow that says "Winter" to me: cold sunny days. Like snow, these are not terribly common in Seattle, but this year we have been below 40 seemingly more than usual. Seeing the bare trees against the clear blue sky hit a "It's Winter" spot that has not been hit in years, and probably the last time I experienced it was not in Seattle.

W.

2009-01-19T21:32:00.000-08:00

I had a thought last week about trying to organize an Irish wake or New Orleans funeral-type event to mark the last full day of the Bush administration, but my birthday festivities last weekend were enough for awhile.

It is amazing that we have lived the past eight years with W as our president. For me, I know I've spend too much of that time in denial about how awful he is since there really wasn't anything I could do about it. How was it he never got impeached? Is that a short-coming of the Democratic party that no one was willing to try?

I am so relieved that it is finally over. Maybe someday I'll be able to watch Oliver Stone's movie and gain some perspective but right now, I am so happy I won't have to have him "actively" in my life.

There was a point last summer when I realized that I would be happy with either candidate running for the Presidency, even if John McCain seemed a sell-out of the man I voted for in the primaries of 2000. (Then, of course, he chose Palin and it did really matter that the Democrats won this one!)

I am amazed at the excitement about tomorrow's inauguration. I can't recall people making the effort for the swearing in of a President this way. It's a wonderful thing to see in a democracy. Perhaps some of the credit goes to W, who ignited democratic forces in this country if not elsewhere in the world. But most of the credit is due to the historic nature of Barack Obama, America's first President of color.

Last spring, I was skeptical that Obama could win. I feared that America was still too racist a nation to elect a black man to the Presidency. What a thrill to be wrong! (although there is still a fear he won't make it through his term(s) since he is such a historic figure.)

But now, let's take a moment and breathe a sigh of relief that W's reign of ineptitude is almost over. We survived, even if so much of what we love about America suffered. Sláinte!

White Christmas?

2008-12-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

It sounds lovely in song, and is certainly what I grew up with as a Minnesotan, but right now, I am so over the snow-thing.

We got our first snow over night last Thursday morning. I walked in to work with the snow coming down. It was lovely. Friday the roads and sidewalks were icy so I stayed home with the work I'd brought home. Saturday I got out in the car for the first time but then there was more snow that night (c. 5"), making the roads treacherous and just hard to get out of the accumulated drifts. Sunday I stayed off the roads but made a trip Monday, sliding more than I would have liked. My work has been closed all week (!) due to the snow.

It is snowing outside right now. It is supposed to warm up in the next few hours, with the snow turning to rain. That's when I'll make my break for my holiday destination. More snow is expected overnight, but then it will warm up and not go below freezing (this weekend, if not Friday).

I am missing plowed, sanded roads like crazy. I am also going to shop for some chains for my car. It's only about every 10 years or so we need them in the city, but they are good to have for going up into the mountains so...

Don't know now what color Christmas in the Seattle area will be, I'm just hoping no black and blue is involved.

Brrrr

2008-12-14T14:21:00.000-08:00

It snowed in Seattle last night. Lots of little flakes, with occasional bursts of big, fluffy flakes. Then, it got colder. The slush froze, the snow stayed. Today, it is colder than either St. Paul, Minnesota, my home town, or Boston, Massachusetts, where I lived before Seattle. That is usually not the case, at least in the winter.

If I had more energy, I'd go over the zoo and see how the animals are coping. Are the Chilean flamingos out, for example? I think they had heat lamps and they are used to Andes weather. But probably most of the creatures are curled up in their homes, which is likely all I'll manage to do for the rest of the day.

Theme Day

2008-11-19T17:46:00.000-08:00

Many of my days seem to have a theme. They range from simple things like everyone I encounter being tired (which today was mostly true) to scary things like all the drivers on the road seeming to want to hit me (which are thankfully rare and to date unsuccessful). [Sadly, I am too tired to adequately define theme days it seems].

Today, however, has been a literal theme day. I had an e-mail in my hotmail inbox about new themes, so I took a look, impressed by how hovering over the theme would preview its appearance on my open inbox, and changed my theme to cherry blossoms.

Later in the day, I thought gmail was looking a bit odd, and sure enough there was a message about themes. Tempted to just return to classic, I decided I would try the Summer Ocean theme. Not sure I'll keep it, but it's an interesting change. I'd try the Ninja theme, but I think I'd giggle too much.

Identification Needed Now Found

2008-11-18T15:53:00.000-08:00

Any idea where this is? I find it is an amazing visual that I should have seen at some point before. The person who found it Googling didn't make note of what it was and the search he gave me proved unfruitful.

Update: Someone called it the Bishops Door, and that led to a Google search where I found it as the door to St. Nicholas Cathedral in Ljubljana, Slovenia. And a picture with the door actually open.

What a difference a week makes

2008-11-14T16:26:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday, when I got home from work, I realized I couldn't find my cell phone. I knew I'd had it the night before, knew I'd left it where it should have found its way into my bag, but I could not actually recall having seen it all day. I was very tired, still trying to regain my health after being sick. It is times like that I am most likely to misplace things, although in general I tend not to lose things.

I'd hoped I'd left it at work somehow. Or it had fallen out of my bag where I'd went to lunch on Thursday (Thursday was one of those days were the world is suddenly wetter than you can ever imagine, so I hadn't gone many places). No luck. Friday I searched my car and apartment even better than I had before. I even went to the few other places I had been, where theoretically it could have fallen out of my bag, but it wasn't anywhere.

Saturday, I decided to accept the fact that, while it couldn't have possibly disappeared off the face of the earth, it was lost somewhere and I should get myself a new phone. I'd been thinking about getting an iPhone. My contract was up in February, so I hadn't done much beyond just salivate over my friends' iPhones, and wonder if my reception would be better than on my Sync. Thankfully, I was eligible for a new phone so I did just go ahead and indulge myself. And, I'm still giddy about it here on day 7, especially as the reception does seem better. That and I can now look things up instantly online.

This morning when I went to get into my car, I found my cell phone. It was just lying there at the back of the driver's seat, slightly hidden by the seat back. I do have to wonder if it was really there all the time. Did I really get into the car differently than I had been? Could I really not have seen it there in my searching? I did just get the car back from the mechanics yesterday, but would they really just put it in that random spot? Or did their moving the seat change its visibility?

I had a feeling I would find it someday, but that might only be because it is rare for me to actually lose anything. I was hoping it wouldn't be in such a lame spot, though. Oh, well.

Check Engine

2008-11-12T14:57:00.000-08:00

My check engine light came on driving from my allergists. I was headed to Jamba Juice in U Village so I checked the manual and under the hood. Wound up taking it to Herman's. I hung out in that neighborhood for around 90 minutes before convincing myself I could get home. Easily caught a 48, happened to get off right by where the 16 goes, and didn't wait too long for it.

Herman's finally called around 12:30. Could not understand the guy, but there's a problem in some system. The valve is fine so they need to delve deeper, to the tune of another $180 (I now realize how truly wonderful Scandia auto was!). Not sure when they'll be done, assuming they find what they hope to.

I'm journaling about how much things like this affect me. Not able to find comfort with uncertainty. Is it being carless? Worried about car issues? Having my day plan go out the window? Having to pay money unexpectedly? Needing to navigate back? Or is it more a too many of those things all at once?

I need to find an answer to why I am so affected sometimes. Or at least a way to minimize the effect. I was thinking I needed the one to have the other, but maybe that isn't really true.

It seems to be pouring outside. It barely rained when I was out. Normally, I'd find reassurance in that, but when I am where I am right now, all the positive stuff seems to go away and I'm stuck focusing on something a la "this is not happening." I was once told I have a kink in my sense of spontaneity. This would definitely be it.

Oldest Veterans

2008-11-11T19:59:00.000-08:00

There are only a handful of Veterans left around the world from WWI. I heard on the news tonight that many countries lost their last remaining Veteran this year. The US still has one, who is 107 years old. The war itself will be 100 years old not that many years from now.

I read a lot of books written in the twenties and thirties, a time after WWI, when most of the men, at least in the British books, served in that war to end all wars. There is talk of shell shock and otherwise never being the same after the war. There is a naivety about it all since they could not know what was to come: Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito, the holocaust.

As Ferris Bueller noted, life goes by pretty fast, and thus it is easy to lose perspective. To think of WWI as being so very very long ago. My grandparents were of the wrong age to be involved in WWI, although they were all alive then. My father’s father was around 13 when the war ended. My mother’s father was likely nearly 40 (I should really figure out when he was born, since I am sort-of named after him).

I was a little disturbed recently to realize that I was born only 22 years after the end of WWII. That seems much closer than I ever imagined when I was younger. WWI had been over 48 years when I was born, so most of its Veterans were already in passed retirement age. Time does move quickly. And I wish we did a little more to take time out on days like today to make sure we don’t miss it.

Voting

2008-11-02T20:44:00.000-08:00

I filled out my absentee ballot tonight. It felt good, both voting for someone I'm excited to have be our next President, and knowing that this election will soon be over (and the negative campaign ads will be off the airwaves).

I am anxious for the results of the election, and need to find somewhere to go to watch it unfold with other people (assuming my cold has run its course by then). In 2004, a bunch of us gathered at my friends Ryan and Kate's, complaining of Ohio voter fraud. Let's hope there are no cause for doubts about the vote on either side this time around.

Hopefully, it will all be settled in around 48 hours from now and, especially here in Washington state, there will be no need for any recounts.

November

2008-11-01T18:37:00.001-07:00

It seems like just yesterday I was writing about Junember (but perhaps that is just because I blog so rarely these days). It is the first day of November and it is gray and very wet. Only a matter of time before the wind picks up. Yesterday morning's 7 day forcast was all showers and 50's for the next seven days (although it did manage to clear up in time for any trick-or-treaters that still exist in big city America these days).

Despite the gloomy meteorological forecast (and a slightly unhappy left sinus), I'm feeling pretty optimistic about November. For one thing, it starts and ends with weekends this year, plus the 3 days of holidays (Veterans' Day, Thanksgiving, and the day after Thanksgiving), plus I'm taking the rest of the week of Veterans' Day off, so that means 13/30 working days! That helps lift anyone's gloom.

I am also going to try my hand at the whole National Novel Writing Month thing again, and providing myself the time and focus to write feels good.

I also managed to get some projects done by today so that I could get writing. I even, between yesterday and today, managed to read the second Dexter novel; as well as part of the latest issue of The Economist, which I just got a subscription to, the first issue arriving in my mailbox last night with Obama on the cover and the words "It's time."

That's how I am feeling in general. It is time. Even if it is off to a typical gloomy November.

Happy Night

2008-10-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, Alvin organized a happy hour for the work crowd and their friends. Unlike many of these happy hours, this one actually left the vicinity of work, at least after stop one. From Kate's Pub in Wallingford, across I-5 from the UDistrict, we headed up to Chapel on Capital Hill. They have an awesome drink menu, which is something I have a great appreciation for. I had a Bruce Lee: sake, cranberry and orange juice. Very nice.

Afterward, the group split up a bit. One group said they were going to the Voo Doo Lounge, so that is where I wound up, although the folks who suggested it bailed. Another group went to a bar where they were thrown out because one of their party passed out on the bathroom floor. Part of that group wound up joining those of us at Bimbo's, the restaurant above the Voo Doo Lounge.

The best part of the evening, however, happened after the lights came up. The six of us climbed into Daniel's car and raced to West Seattle so half of the group could catch the 2:15 ferry to Vashon Island. I was navigator, so I got to sit in front, while the other four squeezed into the backseat. Insane moments like these are generally a thing of the past once you are out of school. It was nice to have one now. We did make it to the ferry dock at 2:07. A happy night all around.

Bachelorette Party

2008-10-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

Last night, I went to my second bachelorette party ever. It was a pretty subdued affair, at least if you read the Web sites that talk about Suck for a Buck t-shirts and getting bought shots. Instead, we got her a sash that said Bride, a tiara with tulle, and a magic wand! Our one nod to the raunchy was that I stopped at the Erotic Bakery and picked up a mouth brownie and a penis cupcake.

We picked a restaurant in Ballard, since that is the home of Seattle's only male stripper club, Matador. It is actually a chain of restaurant and tequila bars. The food and drinks were good, but we had a trainee waiter who seemed to be struggling a bit. We decided to skip Centerfolds and try a little Ballard bar crawl. I'd always wanted to go to Carnegie's, a restaurant and bar in an old library, but it was closing when we got there a little before 9!

Two of our group were also crashing so rides home were arranged and a plan to meet up at another bar in lower Queen Anne was arranged. Parking was a challenge, and one of our group spent an amazing time looking before using the groom's parking space up the hill. We each had one drink at the second place, although I went for a Shirley Temple with a splash of orange juice. It was a nice evening.

My first bachelorette party was a long time ago. It was just the bride and the bridesmaids. We just went to the bar at the hotel we were staying, and that was pretty dead. No one really put any energy into it, so it was pretty lame. Energy really is the key to having a good time!

Darkly Dreaming Dexter

2008-10-01T21:39:00.001-07:00

Last month I finally got the book Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay from the library to read. I stumbled across the series earlier this year when CBS was showing it Sunday nights, and was instantly fascinated. I'd heard Ellen talk about the show on her talk show, but I didn't get its appeal until I saw it for myself.

I came into the show a few episodes in to the first season, which more or less parallels the book. It is creepy to have a serial killer as the hero of the show, and to have him be a character much more likable than those that populate most sitcoms today. That likability comes from the fact that he is honest about his weaknesses.

It's not very surprising that a strongly emotional person such as myself should be intrigued by a character who has no emotions and must guess at the right emotional note to hit when dealing with people. To some degree, this is also a universal struggle: what is the right role for us to play at this moment with these people. The foreignness of his unemotionally and amorality is mitigated by the fact that we all wear a public mask that shows what we want others to see and hides what we don't want them to see. That his struggle to blend in is one we all face, one way or another. Here's one example:

Many times in my life I have felt like I was missing something, some essential piece of the puzzle that everybody else carried around with them without thinking about it. I don't usually mind, since most of those times it turns out to be an astonishingly stupid piece of humania like understanding the infield fly rule or not going all the way on the first date.

Dexter is also made okay to like by a couple key facts:

He seems to have been made the way he is by external forces, a traumatic event he experienced while still an innocent child. The sights and sensations of that time attached themselves to him in such a way as to motivate his adult desires. It
is a chilling statement on the fragility of our species, if there is any non-fictional truth to it.

His desire to kill has been channeled by his (adoptive) father into a moral code that he innately lacks. Dexter does not allow himself to kill randomly. He kills other killers, making it harder to find fault with his hobby than it otherwise would be.

He has a sense of humor. He has no ego to protect, and so his honesty treats his strengths and weaknesses alike; he can laugh at himself, at life. Do serial killers really have a sense of humor? Or of whimsy, as the other serial killer in the story does? Charm often seems to be part of the package, although perhaps that is just a careful study of how to attract people to you.

I am looking forward to seeing where Dexter goes, both in books and on television. I welcome the insight about what one needs to do to appear to be a regular human; some of the best food for thought available (at least in fiction television) today.

National Stay at Home Week

2008-09-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

ABC's Fall season's campaign is National Stay at Home Week, which started yesterday. This is exactly the sort of thing I find so wrong with American culture these days. I mean, Must See TV is ridiculous, but at least its hyperbole isn't hard to see. But to declare a week for people to stay home to watch your shows, while interestingly honest, is despicable. Of course, in the sudden Go Green craze that seems to be appearing everywhere (I had a meeting at work last week about how we could be more Green and whether we want to brand ourselves as such).

I may have to protest and not stay home this week, or at least not turn on my television, especially for ABC. (Thankfully, the one ABC show I'm really interested in watching this year, 'Pushing Daisies,' isn't back until October 1st.)

ABC certainly isn't the only company to encourage our bad behavior. Discover card has a commercial about how being a consumer isn't bad and how they can help with the debt you've acquired while consuming. Yes, there is something wrong with consumption: when it is outside of one's means, when it is valued more than taking care of yourself in other ways (getting good nutrition, good rest, good exercise, good learning, good social interaction).

Cuban Pork Sandwich

2008-09-13T14:19:00.001-07:00

I had my second sandwich from Paseo today. Kate and I had meant to go years ago, but never made it. Then, last month, after Daniel and I's failed kayak trip/'Tropic Thunder' outing, I went and got us sandwiches while he went home to wait for the Qwest guy to fix his Internet connection.

I read a bunch of reviews online before going, and one sandwich that got high praise was the Midnight Cuban. It is a grilled sandwich, so requires extra time and Paseo has a reputation for being a place packed enough that you need to wait to order and get your food. There wasn't too much of a line when I got there, either today or last month, but I decided on just getting their original Cuban Pork sandwich (#1 on the menu) and their top-selling roasted pork sandwich (#2 on the menu) and we split them between us. We made the mistake of eating our #1 first without even trying our #2. While #1 is a symphony of flavor, #2 is just a bland pulled-pork sandwich with some grilled onions and jalapeños.

Today, I got the #1 (picture coming!) and it was delicious! In trying to see if their menu was online somewhere, I came across these interesting pieces:

Three Guys from Miami review the place, and let us know that it isn't really a true Cuban sandwich:
http://cuban-food-usa.com/seattle_paseo.html

Esquire has (is?) taken suggestions for The Best Sandwich in America:
http://www.esquire.com/features/food-drink/sandwiches

which lead me to have a dream last night about being in a group that traveled to some Pacific island for a $50 crab sandwich.

Seven years after

2008-09-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

I was looking over bumper stickers the other day, since Daniel is interested in getting one for his new car, and I was surprised at how antagonistic so many of them are.

One of them said something along the lines of 'Why do liberals hate the government more than they hate the terrorists.' While I think that's an incredible oversimplification, I think it's a good day to address the question.

Maybe it's that so little has occurred terror-wise in the past seven years, but the kindergarten color-coded terror-levels, the atrocities of Guantanamo Bay, the limitation on liquids when flying, the Patriot Act's erosion of civil liberties, the atmosphere that makes you unpatriotic to question our government's decisions, the unilateral war that costs us billions of dollars but nothing in the way of the war support that went on during the two World Wars nor anything else in the past seven years that has encouraged us coming together as Americans with those rights we do agree to (unless it is to consume more to keep the economy going): all these things have done more to harm our great country than the attacks of 9-11.

And that is not to denigrate the loss our country did suffer, not only of precious human life but of a sense of security on our own shores. But allowing that one attack on that one day to shape us to where we have lost sight of and faith in the ideals that have been most precious to our country and our way of life is not the solution and, in fact, it makes me feel that the terrorists have won. But only because we, especially our government which is only too happy to keep us scared enough that we don't question its unAmerican actions, have let them win. We have changed how we live, how we think, what our priorities are because we fear the terrorists, and that is unacceptable. And the actions of our government in terms of the havoc it has wrecked upon the ideals America had held for so long is itself terrorism.

When the government has acted like terrorists in terms of terrorizing its citizens, why should I hate them any less than any other anti-American terrorists?

Round Table Requiem

2008-09-10T20:48:00.000-07:00

It's the second Wednesday of the month, which should mean there is a Society of the Rusting TARDIS (SotRT) video night going on at a Seattle pizza place; but tonight there isn't. For the first time in the old-timers memory (and, despite going to my first video meeting in 1995, I'm not one of the old-timers; at least by my standards!) outside the holiday zone, there is no meeting. The root cause is something that happened in March 2007 when the Round Table on 25th closed its doors. SotRT had been meeting at Round Table for several years before I started going. It had a nice-size meeting room with a television and vcr that usually worked without a lot of futzing.

The location was also very convenient, walking distance from where I lived when I first started going, and generally had enough parking (it was also a hub for pee wee sport team's celebrations, which packed the folks in). And the pizza was tasty. I've realized just how little really good pizza there is in Seattle in the past 18 months, and have even been over to the Round Table in Overlake just to get a good fix.

There was a lot of warning about the closing of Round Table, since the whole block was bought up to build some massive complex they're just finishing up. We moved fairly easily into Mad Pizza on Lake City Way. While it was nice they sold slices, their pizza really was best hot out of the oven and not warmed up. I finally discovered sandwiches, which they sold by halves, too, until they stopped having them all together. The location was also so-so: there was no private room so both noise and traffic were an issue. And there were just a few booth seats facing the television, so it wasn't nearly as comfortable as the old spot. In July, Mad Pizza closed without much warning. The story I heard was that a bunch of people quit so they just decided to close!

Last month, the video meetings occurred at two locales: a community center, which was described as "dirty" and Romio's pizza on Greenwood. It looks like the latter will be the new video home, at least for awhile. Part of me wonders how much longer the video meetings will go on, given the availability of British television online and on cable. It's just not the "must see tv" it was when you really couldn't get it any other way.

As for Romio's pizza, it is decent but pricier than previous places. Left on my own tonight, I tried Valarmos Pizzeria tonight. Very decent, but I prefer a thinner crust. I do like Pagliacci, but its quality varies a lot, which is a problem.

Better late than never?

2008-09-10T20:45:00.000-07:00

Over the years, I've had lists of blog topics, some of which have languished for one reason or another. Tonight, I figure I'll start with one of the oldest on the list, since the timing is somewhat right. Hopefully, more of these will appear in the coming weeks. And hopefully the list will empty and stay that way with more frequent postings on my part.

Beijing Olympics

2008-08-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

I watched part of the Opening Ceremonies to the Beijing Olympics tonight. I find something very moving about seeing the teams from around the world come together, marching into the stadium with their matching outfits (I like the countries where the men and women wear the same thing, although I did like the Chinese dresses the Swedish women wore) after years of preparing to compete. The Olympics are such a rare opportunity for the world to have a bit of that promised Star Trek future. When else do you see get to see Fijians on the International stage? It very much goes with the theme of this Olympics: One world, one dream. The Olympics get a lot of flack, especially when they take place in a country like China, where civil rights have not reached what they used to be in this country, pre-Patriot Act.

While I cannot support much of what China has done, or continues to do in places like Tibet, I believe that the benefit to the world of this coming together is too important to be derailed by any political issues. I noticed that most countries had their leader cheering their team on from the stands, from Prince Albert II of Monaco to Prime Minister Kevin Rudd of Australia to our own President Bush, with wife Laura and Henry Kissinger! I don't know if the assembled world leaders gets together at all, but that would make it even more
worthwhile: if they could spend time together as audience members, have a beer or some dumplings, and build more personal relationships.

It's been twenty years (!) since I was in China. I was there in another confluence of 8s-1988. It was the year of the dragon, too, which made it very auspicious. In many ways, China today is nothing like the China I knew. I remember being on a bus in Shanghai and being startled to see a young woman in a red dress. Back then, Mao blue and army green still dominated Chinese wardrobes. The stores, except maybe the Friendship Store, as they called the store open to those with foreign currency (as opposed to renminbi, the people's currency, which could not be exchanged with dollars), rarely had anything you really wanted to buy. There were few motor vehicles on the road (just a dense sea of bicycles and crowded busses). Entrepenuership was just starting to be accepted by the powers that be, and the Chinese roommates we had were among the first to need to find their own jobs after
graduation.

China is definitely more Western and more open than it was when I was there, but they still place a lot of value on saving face. I learned, from CBC, that the Chinese brought in coaches starting in 2004 to train their 600+ athletes for these games. That they are now powerhouses in sports they weren't a condender in four years ago. They're likely to win 42 medals, which will work out to $6 million spent per medal!

Not burning down the house

2008-08-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

I' m not sure if the alarm woke me up, but I became aware of it as I gained consciousness. It sounded like a truck backing up, but it just kept going. I thought maybe it was an alarm clock that got left on even though the owner wasn't around to be awoken by it. Curious about its source, I got up and followed the noise. It was coming from the second floor of my apartment building, where the sound was much louder. It echoed between two doors in the hallway upstairs. It seemed like it must be the smoke detector going off. I tried knocking on the managers' door but, although I hear voices inside, I got no reply. So, I called. Got voicemail and left a message. I went back upstairs and felt the doors and walls near where the alarm was coming from. They were fine. Then, I uneasily began to get ready for my day, wondering what else it was I could do. Not long after, the alarm stopped. Then, my phone rang. It was Sonia, one of the managers, calling to let me know that it had been the smoke detector, that something had been left on, and that it was getting critical by the time she investigated. We shared our relief that all had gone well and that we'd been able to avert a real problem. Quite a way to start the day!

My take away from this is, "Shouldn't alarms be distinct enough that I don't confuse a back-up beep with an alarm clock with a smoke detector?" I'd think that would be pretty easy. I'd like to see a smoke detector that has the alarm and also has a voice going, "Smoke! Check out the smoke!" or something to that effect.

Out and About

2008-07-31T20:19:00.000-07:00

July has been a busy, hot month, with not much time spent at home or on the computer, despite the arrival of my first laptop earlier this month.

The travel started Fourth of July weekend with a backpacking trip to the Alpine Lakes Wilderness area. Daniel and I hiked from the trailhead at Salmon La Sac 9+ miles up to Waptus Lake. Between a bridge being out and the usual ford being waist-high, we wound up camping on the lake's south shore after passing over a snow field to find a place to camp. Day two we traveled up 1400 feet, across snow fields where we kept losing the trail, and then back down to Pete Lake (both lakes were at about 3000ft). The last day was a pretty easy 9+ mile hike out to the car.

I'd just recovered from the backpacking when it was time to pack my bag and head to Las Vegas for my friend Alvin's 30th birthday trip. I'd never been to Vegas before and it was 107 when we arrived (I don't think I've been anywhere that hot before). It was a good trip, with the weather even cooling down a little bit, with some rain, too. We did the Star Trek experience, walked the Strip, played slot machines, ate at buffets, and saw shows. I went to O and since no one else wanted to go with me, I was able to get a seat fifth row center. It was amazing. On the flight back, I randomly wound up sitting next to Alvin and his wife Heather. That's the kind of odd luck I have, which sadly does not translate to luck gambling (unlike Chad who won enough playing blackjack to pay for his trip).

A few days after we got back, Daniel was rear-ended and his car was totaled. I helped him get a new (to him) car on the Saturday and then I had a Beach Naturalist shift on the Sunday.

This past Saturday, Daniel and I went on a day hike on Mount Rainier, on the Glacier Basin trail. I'll write more about this later.

Until the past week or so, it's been a warm July in Seattle, but after being in Vegas, nothing seemed that bad.

Junember

2008-06-30T20:41:00.001-07:00

People I know who live elsewhere often ask me what the weather is really like in Seattle. Seattle has an image of being rainy, but the rain here isn't the same as most places I've lived. You can generally walk through it without getting wet, since most Seattle rain is more like a mist.

The worst month, weather-wise, is November. The daylight, which goes from around 5AM to after 9PM in the summer, is depressingly short. The days are cold, gray, often rainy, and the wind often rushes between the mountains in the area.

June is a lighter version of November: less cold but often gray and rainy. This year, we've been under in terms of our typical temperature, leading someone to dub it 'Junuary'. But, to me, it's always more like November.

We have had some nice weather, too. In fact, we are currently in the midst of a heatwave. We've been having temperatures in the upper 80's since Saturday. I'm a heat wimp, which is part of why I live here, so I've not been enjoying the heat (mainly because my apartment was also in the mid to upper 80's this weekend). I even went into work over the weekend, in part to have a cool place to be.

But June is ending and summer weather should finally be settling into our area. Hopefully, it will be lots of sun and temperatures in the high-70's, otherwise everyone will be complaining about our lack of summer until next year. If only they'd accept that living in Seattle means a second November at summertime.

The Return of Indiana Jones

2008-05-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

Spoiler Alert: I am going to give away what happens in the movie. If you don't want to know, stop reading now!

I saw 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' over the long holiday weekend (does attending blockbuster movies count as ways we celebrate Memorial Day?). I'd actually heard mostly good things about it before I went, with the negative being that the third act was a mess, so I was cautiously optimistic going.

I went into knowing very little about the movie except that Karen Allen was back and that Shia LeBeouf played Indy's son. After seeing it, I wondered how the movie would have been different without that relationship knowledge. It would have been nice to see it that way.

Overall it was an Indiana Jones movie, and a pretty good one at that. Part of it is the fact it is so well-made, in terms of the richness of Spielberg's world. The script, at least in terms of dialog, was also good quality, and it retained the charm of the first and third (I loathe the second in the series, largely because the screeching of the now Mrs. Spielberg overwhelmed any charms it had).

The story, of course, has issues (I won't even bother going into everything wrong the nuclear blast or vine-swinging monkey scenes). The double-crossing friend of Indy's has an appetite for money and riches that should have set alarm bells off about his trustworthiness years ago. The main villain is inexplicably disintegrated during the movie's climax, evoking the famous face-melting scene of the first movie. The CIA men who with McCarthy-esque zeal are pursuing Indy as unAmerican at the beginning of the movie have vanished by its end with not even a throw away line to explain their evaporation or Indy's return to his university; certainly what he accomplished in the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wasn't anything to save him from the accusations of being unAmerican (although the main villain and the traitor were annihilated, but not in a "here are the bodies" sort of way).

Of course, the flying saucer just made me feel like Spielberg was tying together his legacies. At least there was no 'Close Encounters' in the soundtrack. The third act wasn't quite the mess I'd been warned against, but it definitely wasn't as tight as the rest of the movie. And really, do pan-dimensional beings need a flying saucer? I wouldn't think so, but where's Douglas Adams when you need him?

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T20:35:00.001-07:00

I read something the other day about one of the first Memorial Days happening in the years following the Civil War with the decoration of Union and Confederate soldiers' graves. I wanted to know more about the history of the day, so I checked out Wikipedia.

I was surprised to learn that the holiday was known as Decoration Day until officially changed in 1967, that it was celebrated on May 30th (since that was not an anniversary of a Civil War battle) until 1969 when the holiday was moved to create a 3-day weekend, and that that change has opponents who believe it "has undermined the very meaning of the day".

Hard to dispute that, given I was unaware of its history and have only celebrated it by not working and maybe doing some sort of barbecue. It's mostly known as the start of summer, despite the fact that, even here in Seattle, summer has already arrived.

I'm not sure what we can do to change how we celebrate this holiday. Given that our country is currently fighting in several countries around the world, with hundreds of soldiers dying in active service every year, it seems like we should be doing more. Of course, it would make more sense to me to honor those still serving our country, and by doing something more than the recent trend to say it with automotive decorations.

My friend Dan sent me a URL awhile ago, http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home1280.html. It's a site that allows you to send messages to those serving out country today. Maybe in this electronic age, reaching out one on one is more meaningful than the parades or wreath-layings of the past.

Flamingos, finally!

2008-05-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today the Woodland Park Zoo had its members preview of the new flamingo exhibit, the ads for which are all over town. I never quite managed to ask for the morning off to go first thing and then meetings were scheduled. Fortunately, I was able to run out over the lunch hour to go see them.

I was expecting the flamingos to be indoors, enjoying tropical warmth and humidity. Instead, they were outdoors, huddled together, in the cool grayness (while Seattle had a record-breaking 88 degree day last Saturday, it's back down 60 or so of late).

The flamingos are Chilean flamingos, which live from Chile's coastal salt marshes to high altitude salt lakes up to 14,000 feet. Despite this less-than-tropical range, the flock today looked cold and a little pissed. They definitely seemed cranky, even going after each other now and then. I took a number of pictures, working especially hard to get a shot of their black under feathers. The results made me realize that great wildlife photography (or maybe even great photography in general) is bringing order (or meaning) out of chaos. Cranky flamingos have no interest in order.

The Breakup

2008-05-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

I figure since it has been 8 weeks since the breakup I should say a little more about it.

The first thing is that for the first five+ weeks, I couldn't even talk about it without crying, which meant I didn't talk about it very much, or at least with very many people. I'm still not really sure why I fell apart like that. I don't recall it being so bad with other relationships, and I felt like intellectually I understood this one and could accept it.

Daniel and I broke up because we don't want the same things right now. Maybe I cried so much because it is such a hard reality to face, to accept. I'm ready to settle down, to be creating a life and maybe a family together with someone. Daniel is ready to do his self-exploration, now that he is done with school (again) and has a decently-paying job that allows him to explore interests he's not been able to before. He's also not sure about children, and decided long ago not to pass on his own genes.

So, we're trying to build a new relationship as friends. It's hard though since our feelings for each other haven't really changed.

Bowie

2008-05-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

There was a trivia question on the radio the other day: What band gets its name from a 1970-something (they gave the actual year) David Bowie song? The answer was the kooks, and it made me miss my old, home-made David Bowie tape and think that I should buy some Bowie. I looked in the CD section of Fred Meyer Thursday and there were collections that could work, but I figured I'd look around. It was only later that I remembered that I do have a Bowie CD with many of those songs: Changes. I think it was one of my original CD purchases, when we went to Tower after a trip to Video Only where I bought a television (which I just replaced), VCR, CD player (long dead), receiver, and speakers. I'm listening to Changes as I write. I should dig out the tape, though, because I know it had some other songs, like Kooks, that I'd like to hear again.

Perspective

2008-05-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today begins my fourth week in our new building (although only my 13th day working). It's given me a very different perspective on many things (in addition to those provided by my recent break up). Here's a picture I took the Friday before my day 1 from my window.

Since I moved closer to work back at the beginning of 2007, my daily world got much smaller. Work and boyfriend went from being 12+ miles to 1.7 and 2.6 miles away, respectively. I no longer saw downtown on a regular basis, so I'm glad to have that back with the new building.

The other perspective the new building offers is the cubicle environment. My department is used to offices, even if the doors and/or walls are sometimes made of glass. Space was at a premium in our old building, so I never had my own office with this department, but I was in a space where the door could be closed when needed.

One of my coworkers quoted another coworker as saying our new building offers isolation without privacy. It's really weird. Sometimes it feels like a ghost town, you hardly see anyone around, much less so than with the old building, but you can hear them--usually on the phone but I had to ask one of our student workers to turn down his headphones the other day.

And, while my cube is not small or cramped, it does lack a sense of coziness. It seems somehow sterile and cold. The one plant I inherited from my old office mate has already succumb to the new environment. It looked green and fine, but it had gotten totally dried out, maybe even the first weekend it was in the building since the cooling system wasn't on and I heard from those setting up our computers that it had gotten into the 90's in the building (and Daniel had put it by the window and I forgot to water it).

Writing this, it seems that the outer world has gotten closer but my coworkers have gotten farther away, even though many of us are in the same building for the first time ever. The new culture needs work, and hopefully my department's Community Building Committee (which I am a member of) can help.

Mushroom Mania

2008-05-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

It's a lovely day in Seattle: near 70 and sunny. I'd planned to go to Mushroom Mania at the Burke Museum today and decided I might as well walk.

Mushroom mania is put on by the Puget Sound Mycological Society and deals with how fungi fit into the ecosystem, as well as cultivating and cooking mushrooms. I learned that plants and fungi have a symbiotic relationship that benefits the plants tremendously. I also learned that mushrooms are the reproductive organs of certain fungi, but I guess eating them is no different than eating fruit.

Walking home, it seemed cooler but I suspect it was just that the wind had picked up. I'd zipped up my light-weight fleece jacket. As I crossed 15th at 45th, some male yelled out his car window that he liked my nipples. I ignored him. It's not behavior to be encouraged; his opinion or even noticing of my nipples is unimportant.

Fortune Cookies

2008-05-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

I've had Chinese food twice in the past couple of days (both times it was hand-shaved spicy noodles, although the two dishes themselves were quite different), and neither of my fortune cookie's fortunes was very satisfactory. The first was the typical descriptive type found too often these days:

You have a wise spirit, an advanced intellect and faith in human nature.

I recall the fortunes used to be more mysterious and less fawning. Today's was more of a fortune, but annoyingly uncertain in its prediction:

You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.

It's disappointing to me that fortune cookie fortunes have lost the charm they held when I was younger. Not even adding "in bed" helps these out. Well, maybe on the second one.

Flamingo Failure

2008-05-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

A year ago, I got Daniel and I a membership to the Woodland Park Zoo. The membership includes a quarterly magazine, that neither of us read until the Spring 2008 issue, which included an announcement of the Membership Day for the new Chilean flamingo exhibit on May 1st. We'd agreed to go at that time, although in planning our trip to Texas, it wound up that I would have still be in Texas today. But then we had our break up and I was no longer going to Texas. I kept today and tomorrow off from work, in part to be able to go to the flamingo exhibit opening.

Thus, I was bummed when I went online yesterday and discovered the event had been moved to the 23rd (!), although it hardly stood in the way of my enjoying my day off.

I'm realizing that I have been approaching alone time differently as a part of a couple than I had previously. Today, was old-school alone time: I took myself out to breakfast at the Original Pancake House (amazing pumpkin pancakes, especially when covered in their tropical syrup) and read a book, I ran errands and went shopping; it was a good day.

Anniversary

2008-03-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

55 years ago today, my parents got married. They were on Spring Break from their respective Universities in different states, and my father studied for an Astronomy exam on their honeymoon. They married in Minnesota, where my father was from, and I'm not even sure if my mother's parents made the trip from Rochester, New York.

In keeping with the laid-back tone of the wedding itself, I don't recall my parents celebrating their anniversary particularly, not even the 25th or 30th. Seems like my own romantic nature was not acquired from them.

March snow

2008-03-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

Being from Minnesota, I've experienced March snow. March snow in Seattle, however, is a rarer event. We've gotten snowfall twice this week, and more may happen over the weekend. Nothing is sticking, at least not for longer than a few hours, but it puts a serious chill in the air and has necessitated the return of turtlenecks and my winter coat.

This morning, snow in the mountains delayed a delivery I was expecting, which I didn't learn until I called near the end of my 3-hour delivery window. FedEx needs a better system for shipment delays that affect appointments. So, I went to work where I got to watch the snow fall, and now I'm back at home waiting in another 3-hour window.

I'm glad it stopped snowing.

Beware

2008-03-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

The Ides of March came early for me this year.

I was awoken Wednesday morning to the sound of a motorcycle revving up in the parking lot outside my bedroom window, a congested-sounding noise that continued for at least 5 minutes. Almost immediately after it started, the upstairs neighbor started up the shower, with its whistling pipes, for a 15-minute cleansing and I quickly determined that I was doomed. Definitely doomed in terms of getting back to sleep, but I suspected it was all a portent to the doomed day ahead.

I'm not sure if it occurred to me that perhaps I should just stay in bed (although given how the bed experience was the first to go bad, I can imagine I probably figured there was nowhere to hide) but I went into work where the day went about as badly as it could. I did leave work early, stopping by the drug store only to discover that they've discontinued my prescription decongestant (really?!), and managing to avoid getting hit by at least one car.

But home did not offer the safety I'd been hoping for. Daniel came over, I thought just to talk about a miscommunication we'd had earlier in the day, but instead ended our current dating arrangement. Did not see that coming, no matter how doomed I was feeling.

Next time, maybe I will try just calling in doomed.

Lunar Eclipse

2008-02-20T21:55:00.000-08:00

I'd forgotten there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight. I'd not even heard for sure whether it was going to be visible from Seattle. It didn't seem worth the effort to find out given how uncommon clear skies are here in February. But tonight was clear and when I looked up at the moon, I could tell the eclipse was well under way. I'd noticed the moon the past few days and knew it should be close to full, rather than the cresent I was seeing. I stood out watching, along with others on Market Street in Ballard, until the was no more light to be seen. After dinner, the cresent was back, a little plumper and maybe lower than it had been when I first saw it.

Post 100

2008-02-14T19:03:00.000-08:00

Here is the hundredth post to my blog. Not quite the milestone of television show episodes (although that even seems to have fallen away between DVDs of cancelled shows and cable channels syndicating top first-run shows). But I am all about milestones and celebrations so...

Of course, I had no idea until I logged in that this milestone was even on the horizon. I've not been blogging but figured I could say something about Valentine's Day at least being the end of the peak jewelry giving season so that hopefully the ads about how he put the jewelry in the microwave and she almost cooked it will wane until the Christmas push begins in September (or is it August now?). The ads are just so offensive to men's intelligence, women's priorities, and everyone's ability to love.

I also wanted to change out my picture. I've been playing with self-portrait, since I'm not very photogenic in general and am interested in what I can do to take a better picture. I took one I really liked last weekend. It was a bit dark, which my limited post-production editing abilities have improved a bit. My friend Ryan had also said that my last image was not flattering, but I kinda liked the silliness of it. It's another self-portrait, done with camera at arms length instead of with my gorilla tripod, which is what I used for my new pic.

I am still feeling the pull of winter hibernation, despite it being almost two weeks into Spring by my calculations. Seattle is finally starting to warm up into the 50's but the overnight lows are still in the 30's. And the mountain passes have been closed numerous times this month from mountain snow and then avalanche avoidance measures.

Seattle's only had a little more snow since December 1. On a recent Monday (1/28), I awoke to this view out my front window. I decided to walk into work. It was lovely walking through the fresh whiteness. The sun came out before I left. I didn't think to take my camera with me, but I tried some shots with my cell phone that didn't really capture the delicateness of the snow piled on leaves or bare branches.

Daniel and I have had some nice dates (with each other) since our breakup. I finally took him to the Aquarium on my birthday, and we've done a comedy club and heard some jazz.

I've been dealing with feeling more alone now that I am single again. Support systems, just like romantic relationships, can be hard to build and sustain. There's always so much to do, and it is so easy just to feel tired at the end of the work day or work week. Just another thing to be better about moving forward.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008 The First Week

2008-01-07T20:07:00.001-08:00

It's a week into a new year and already a lot has changed.

New Year's Day, my boyfriend and I had a long-overdue (on both our parts) conversation regarding our relationship and decided that, for now at least, we need to take a step back. So, we're going from girlfriend/boyfriend to dating non-exclusively. It was emotionally draining but totally necessary. We are both feeling so much better about things than we were a week ago. We've been able to clear the air. I've also realized how much putting off talking about things was affecting me and everything is seeing a bit easier.

On the third, which was my officemate's last day with our organization, my boss and I found out that someone from another department would be moving in to my office; so much for some time alone! It's really pissed me off that neither of us knew before then, as the person who was moving knew before Christmas! Just another example of the communication issues within my organization. The arrangement is only until we move into a new building, theoretically in March but I'm not holding my breath on that one. I stayed late to see if I could realize my plan for rearranging the office before the move (I'd talked to the person moving in and he didn't care one way or another). My now ex-boyfriend even agreed to stay and help me move stuff, which I really appreciated.

I did give myself a much needed mental health day on the fourth. Took myself out for lunch (steak, asparagus, a cube of potatoes au gratin, and a cocktail) and a movie (Juno). It was nice.

On the 5th, my ex and I got together to figure out our brave new world. We went for dim sum, something we've done less of since I moved last January. We had similar views on how things would work and did a lot of the air-clearing during this time. Afterwards, I was pretty emotionally exhausted and actually found myself fighting to stay awake c. 8PM. At 9, I put myself to bed for twelve hours!

Today was my first day with my new roommate. He actually disappeared all afternoon, which I've heard is more common than not. I also got a new computer, which is always a pain. There was still some reconfiguring I needed to do with the new office arrangement, but it's mostly done.

In between all of that, I've been trying to enjoy my yearly liminal time. Certainly everything is seeming very liminal right now!

Happy 2008!

The Holiday Spirit and Other Ailments

2007-12-26T10:36:00.000-08:00

December's been rough. First came the overwhelming fatigue, where staying up to watch television beyond 8PM is almost too much. After a week of that, I came down with something. It started with the loss of appetite and a general crappy feeling, closely followed by a weird feeling in the throat that, by morning, reminded me of a wool sock stuck on the left side at the base of my throat. Two days of rest and I was on the mend.

Until I went holiday shopping. It was December 15 and I'd not started my holiday shopping, so a trip to Redmond Town Center seemed imperative. I left the house around 1:15 feeling perky. When I returned around 3:30, I was crashing hard. Two more days of rest and I was able to make it in to work for Tuesday meetings, but not through a whole day.

Last Wednesday, I did a cost/benefit analysis of going into work vs. staying home and resting. Staying home won out, and I made it through the rest of the work feeling more and more normal. Now, I just have a lingering cough that strikes in the evening.

As for the holiday spirit, I'm not sure when that really got me. I found myself wanting to listen to Christmas music, largely to add some variety to what was already in my head. The one time I really tried, though, the station was way too into the whole Jesus thing for me.

Being Jewish, I eschewed the whole Christmas thing for years, and am only really getting comfortable with it lately. I remember one year when I was 4 or 5, I went with friends to a mall. They were taken to see Santa Claus, and I was encouraged to go as well. Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said that I was Jewish so I didn't celebrate Christmas. Santa told me it didn't matter if I was Jewish, I could still tell him what I wanted.

It's that spirit that I've come to embrace in the past few years. America celebrates Christmas, and mostly in a way that has very little to do with Christianity. People throughout history have celebrated this dark time of year with lots of eating and drinking and socializing, whether it is in the name of the sun, Dionysus, Jesus Christ, or commercialism. Isn't it better if we can just come together and enjoy than worry about what having eggnog and a cookie with other people means? After all, I've heard a lot of good things about Jesus so I'm cool with going to his birthday party.

Fresh

2007-12-01T17:24:00.001-08:00

It's December 1st. I'll admit November got away from me, probably from early on in the month. Perhaps it was the 3 vacation days, along with being sick at one point and incredibly tired this past week. But with a new month it is easy to think about taking the fresh start and being better about getting things done.

It's been snowing most of the afternoon, although that may be changing to rain as I type. I love falling snow. Something about the air being full of visible, solid things. It changes the space of the everyday things around us, and in that way it is magical. And it evens out what was there under a layer of fresh whiteness.

I took a walk in the snow. I had a library book (Robert Crais' The Forgotten Man) due today. Rather than renewing it and returning it at some later date, I decided to just return it (fresh start and all). I walked down to the lake to follow it around to the library. There were a few walkers out, most with either dogs or umbrellas; some with both. There were determined looking runners. Most people smiled at me, sharing the magic of a somewhat rare Seattle moment.

December is off to a good start.

Wishlist, 2007 Edition

2007-11-24T16:19:00.001-08:00

I maintain a wishlist at Amazon, but there are a few other things I'm wishing for:

Gorillapod Tripod (black) Eddie Bauer $22.50

Hematite Infinity Necklace Signals.com $29.95

Whad'Ya Know? The Party Game $22.99

I'd also love a small 1/2 qt or 3/4 qt sauce pan.

Gift Giving Guide

2007-11-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

I admit that I am hard to please when it comes to gifts. I approach giving gifts as a puzzle, trying to think of something I want to give that the person will also like, even if they might not realize it themselves. Since not everyone has this way of choosing gifts, I wrote this up as an attempt to lay out my likes and dislikes that can perhaps generate some ideas if you do enjoy being creative in selecting gifts. If not, just check out my latest wish list.

I like gifts that are things that I will use regularly. I have a pair of leather gloves I got years ago that always make me think of the person who gave them to me. I have an umbrella, a couple scarfs, sweaters, jewelry, household gadgets, towels, sheets, etc... that do the same. I like having these reminders of the people around me in the objects I live with.

General Knowledge
I like shiny silver things. I like greens, blues, violets, grays, and pinks. I read mysteries. I love brain puzzles (I'm not good spatially so I don't really like the physical puzzles and I can not do the 3D eye puzzles) and the New York Times crossword (I'm an utter crossword snob in that respect). I like games. I have degrees in anthropology and information science. I love water and its creatures. I enjoy going to the theater and to movies. I enjoy a wide range of music (although I tend not to like most rap and country).

Adornment
I don't wear a lot of jewelry but do like pins, bracelets, and screw-on earrings (I don't have pierced ears and clasp ones are painful). I'm getting more into necklaces. I love older jewelry, especially things with rhinestones. Nothing too big or flashy, and, if metal is involved, silver really is the only choice. I use barrettes but they need to be pretty sturdy as I have very thick hair. I wear nailpolish.

Clothing
I wear almost all natural fibers -- cotton, silk, wool, linen, leather. I do not like to wear clothing with words on them or t-shirts with big pictures. I'm a size 10.

Toiletries
I'm not much into scented bath things as I find most perfumed things overwhelming (I prefer clean, non-floral scents, although I do like lilac. Satsuma/tangerine is a favorite) and I've often gotten rashes from bubble bath type stuff. I do like salt scrubs, especially the ones made with essential oils. I've also taken to wearing perfume, Burberry Brit Eau de Parfum.

Other Thoughts
Journals
I've kept a journal now for over 25 years, and so go through several a year. The only criteria here are UNLINED blank books that aren't much bigger than a folded sheet of 8 1/2" x 11" paper.

'Tis the Season

2007-11-24T09:29:00.000-08:00

It appears that I'm going to skip thoughts on Thanksgiving and, in belated honor of Black Friday, I'm going to republish my gift giving guide and then my wish list for the holiday/birthday season (I gave up my own Web site earlier this year, since I was more interested in periodic blogging than maintaining such a site).

Are you who you want to be?

2007-11-04T19:10:00.000-08:00

One of my pet peeves about American culture these days is the idea that we have no time for anything. While I can't deny that Americans tend to be overextended, the absurdity of advertisers' claims that we don't have time to brush our teeth or take a weekly pill make me angry. Part of the anger is that absurdity, but the rest lies in the fact that how busy people are is a choice, which too many of us make without accepting responsibility for our decisions or for the consequences they bring.

We all have limited resources--time, energy, money--yet we live in a world where there are countless ways and people on which to allocate them. That's reality.

How we spend our time, regardless of how busy we are, should reflect our priorities in life, but I'm wondering right now if mine do. We tend to get into ruts in terms of what we focus on, and it can be hard with all the choices that exist and all the stimulation we get from the Internet, television, radio, movies, and games to remember the things that really are important to us and to take care of ourselves so that we can make those things our priorities. We can get too tired to even notice all the things we've let slide from lack of focus or lack of energy or bandwidth.

I used to be pretty good about staying in touch with people. I'd write letters, send postcards on vacation, make phone calls, put effort into getting together with people. Over the years I find myself doing less and less of this. I recently mailed a letter I started almost a year ago, which was three months after I 'd received the letter I was replying to. I have e-mails in my inbox that languish because I'm bad about looking at my e-mail when I'm not at work, but don't want to reply while I am at work. I haven't talked to my brother, Pete, in months. And then I have friends I used to do things with that I haven't in far too long.

I blame my Germanic genes in part for this change. I can't seem to help believing that things should be a certain way. In this case that means I shouldn't be the one making so much more effort. It seems that the people I really like tend to be bad about making the effort I'd like to see in relationships. This used to bother me a lot, but over the past five or so years, I've grown much more compassionate and gained more perspective. I've also developed my own bad habits about making effort.

All of that means that, for the most part, I know is them and not me when this disparity occurs. But sometimes I do wonder, since people think they are being "nice" by lying rather than just politely declining. (I at least would rather know that there just isn't room for me in someone's life than put energy into something the other person isn't able to.)

Over the years, my energy has gotten eroded; undoubtedly spurred on my some bad investments on my part. And thus the unanswered e-mails, letters, and phone calls, as well as the unmade phone calls, unwritten e-mails, and lack of effort in getting together. But today, I'm reminding myself that it is my decision, my choice. I am looking at what is Important to me and that what is, is worth it. At least for me. I guess I may also need to be brave and ask for clarity if it comes to that.

Memorial Day

2007-10-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

"Aujourd'hui, maman est morte. Ou peut-etre hier..."

I'd already read Camus' L'Etranger when my own mother died 21 years ago today, so it echoed in my brain that day. It did not move me though, at least not the way hearing James Taylor's "Fire and Rain" a month or so later did:

"I always thought that I'd see you again."

That made me lose it. Even now, so many years later, it's hard to hear.

My tradition for acknowledging the day was to take the day off of work to give myself time to remember. This year, that didn't work out; it feels a little weird. Not sure if it that or something else, but this year it feels like it is weighing on me more. Maybe it's just how large the number of years has gotten. It's amazing.

Day 17: Athens -> Munich -> Denver -> Home

2007-10-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

Saturday, September 29

We were awake when Saturday began in Athens, which was 10 hours before it began in Seattle, which meant our Saturday was 32 hours long.

We were camped out by the McDonald's on the second level of the Athens airport. Daniel put some chairs together and slept a bit at one point. There was a television that had on subtitled English television programs, like 'Nip/Tuck' and 'Cold Case'. I mainly did crosswords.

We went to get our luggage around 3:30AM. Were able to check in right after that, but it was still forever until our flight. We headed to the gate. There were shops near security, but we didn't realize there was nothing open past security. We took turns sleeping at the gate.

It was another airport where we boarded a shuttle bus to go to our plane. It was still dark out when we boarded, so we got to see sunrise from the plane. We weren't that far behind sunrise for much of our trip, although our stop in Munich put it out a bit. We had breakfast but otherwise slept.

We wound up not having any time between flights, so it was one gate to the next. Our Munich->Denver flight was on Lufthansa, which was celebrating Oktoberfest. We had a pretty large meal. Our flight also had 'Spiderman 3' and 'Shrek 3' on it. For a change, I slept more than Daniel. We also took ample advantage of the free liquor. Our second meal before landing was small relative to the first.

We had to go through customs in Denver, which meant going through passport control (we didn't have much time between flights, so we were well ahead of most of our fellow passengers), getting our luggage, going through another check point, rechecking our luggage, and then needing to change terminals and go through security. The line for security had more than a 10 minute wait when we got into it, and was just very frustrating.

The flight to Seattle was operated by United, and seemed shabby compared to the rest of our travels. We were given beverages and a bag of pretzels. I had the window seat but wasn't able to see much due to clouds.

At Sea-Tac, we found Judy immediately. She was also picking up friends who were supposed to have gotten in 40 minutes before us but whom she still hadn't found. Then it was waiting for the luggage. I got Daniel's almost immediately. Turned out he got mine. Luckily, we figured that out pretty quickly. When we got to the meeting space, Judy had found her friends, so we just needed to find Jack with the car.

I got my stuff from the house and we just headed to Daniel's. Went to dinner at the Bean Flower restaurant near his house. The sun set while we were there. We watched taped television in an attempt to stay up as late as possible, but gave up once we finished the episode where, near the end, I fell asleep while fast-forwarding through the commercials. I think we crashed around 9:30PM, 29+ hours after our Saturday had begun.

Day 16: Athens

2007-10-29T21:03:00.000-07:00

Friday, September 28

We wandered around looking for a place to grab some breakfast. Got something at a bakery and brought it back to the hotel. We swapped our books for different books from their collection. And then we gathered our stuff together to check out. Since our flight was at 7AM, we decided not to get a hotel since we would have had to have left it by 3AM. When Daniel had made the reservation, he'd been told we could leave our luggage at the hotel until the front desk closed, at 9PM. The woman there when we checked out said this was not the case, but gave us a place to try. It was near a place Lonely Planet listed. Her place didn't pan out, but walking to the other, we found a place that did take luggage and we could pick it up at 8PM.

We headed toward the Acropolis and found ourselves at the Roman Forum. Since it was one of the places you could get into on the same ticket as the Acropolis, we went. We then followed poor signage to the Acropolis, entering on the northerly side.

Athens was very hot our last day, so we tried to keep to the shade and hydrated regularly. We went around the Acropolis, seeing caves, theatres, stoas, shrines, and then the Parthenon. After that, we headed towards the Ancient Agora. Another site on the ticket was a cemetery, so we headed that way. Daniel started getting loopy, though, so we looked for a place to eat. Daniel wanted to try going down this one street, but we didn't' find anything. When we headed towards the metro tracks, we found the cemetery (which didn't seem that interesting) and then headed back towards what looked promising for food places. Ate at a fast-foody gyro place. It turned out the heat was getting to me, too, as I couldn't finish my food.

We sat there for quite awhile, and then decided to go to the National Archaeological Museum, which was indoors. Took the subway to Omonoia and walked up. Were there for hours walking around, taking sitting breaks. Headed out a little before 7 to walk back and head to get our luggage. It took no time and we were at the place at 7:30 but no one was there. This, of course, was something I'd feared in the back of my mind, especially as we hadn't said we were flying out the next morning. Thankfully, this guy next door said they'd be right back. I checked out a cafe just a few doors down while we waited, but we decided just to get to the airport once we got our luggage. The guy we were waiting for came back with his dinner, we got our luggage, and were off.

We took an express bus to the airport that gave us a bit of a tour of the city that we'd not seen. We got to the airport around 9PM. We were told our airline was closed. We got food (well, I got food and then later Daniel did) with the last of our Euros. Checked our luggage at some point. We'd talked to a guy who mentioned the area by the McDonalds on the second level was a good place to sleep. We got a table, but not one with a bench and settled in for the many hours until we could get our luggage and check in for our flight.

Day 15: Santorini -> Piraeus -> Athens

2007-10-29T20:33:00.000-07:00

Thursday, September 27

We didn't want to leave Santorini, but had enough ferry issues that we wanted to make sure we made our flight Saturday morning.

We had breakfast at a place called Hook, which had the cheapest breakfast we'd had. I had my last European crepe with banana and Nutella. On the way back to the hotel, we picked up food for the journey--yogurt, cereal bars, and hard-boiled eggs.

We got the woman at the hotel to call a cab, but there weren't any. Eventually, she got her brother to drive us, although we didn't know at first that was who it was. He took us to this winery on the caldera that had a great view. We were a little nervous, though, because we thought our tickets had a sailing time rather than an arrival time. I think we wound up giving him 15 Euros, although he told us that since he wasn't a taxi he couldn't charge, but then said 15 Euros.

We waited for the boat to come in one undercover area, only to be herded later to another loading area. This ferry, the HighSpeed5, was larger and nicer than the other ferries we'd been on, and we even had assigned seats. We sat across from Texas cousins, chatted some, did crosswords, and grazed.

Once back in Piraeus, we found the subway and headed into Athens.

We'd not been able to get the same hotel we stayed at the first time. They said most hotels were going to be full, but we never found out why. We stayed at The Marble House in a room with a shared bathroom. It was close to the Acropolis and also had a stash of books available for trading.

Daniel selected two places from the guide that we could try for dinner. The first one seemed closed, so we wound up at the 24-hour restaurant and had our first meal fully indoors in a long time.

We walked up toward the Acropolis. There were all these book sellers along the lower path around it. Nothing really in English, though. We walked around some more before heading back to the hotel.

Day 14: Santorini

2007-10-29T19:56:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, September 26

We decided to have a lazy day of sun and fun. We did another beach trip, with the water remarkable still but with no more visibility.

Daniel wanted grilled fish for lunch, and we found a place that served us 3 small fish each! I could only eat 2. They were local fish and tasted salty as the Aegean is saltier than other ocean water I've been in.

We took our siesta, and then walked all the way down to the end of the shops. On the way back, we looked for books. I'd actually finished both the books we'd brought and was reading a book from our hotel. Books were insanely pricey, and I had a feeling we could do better in Athens.

We got dinner from The Gyro Stop, which was down to the last of each of the meats it served.

Day 13: Santorini

2007-10-29T19:33:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, September 25

Daniel was feeling better after some good rest and improved weather. He wanted a full-English breakfast to solidify his recovery. We'd seen places that had it, including the Crepe Academy where I'd eaten last night, but we had a bit of a problem finding things as not everything was open yet.

After breakfast, we went down to the beach, laid on the sand, read, and went bobbing in the water; the waves were pretty strong. It was fun.

We had lunch at a place recommended by the guide. Daniel had wanted grilled lamb, but the waiter recommended another lamb dish, which was quite good. I had grilled swordfish which wasn't that good.

Later in the afternoon, we went to Fira, the main tourist city on the caldera. The bus was packed. I didn't think we'd be able to get on, but we did. We wandered around, taking in the views. Found a gelato place, which was more expensive than the one in Innsbruck but, just like Innsbruck, everyone was eating it.

We walked north along the caldera, taking lots of photos. Daniel walked even farther than I did. We got back to Fira just before sunset and got seats at a bar to watch. It was a bit hazy in the distance, but still lovely. We had sangria.

Back in Kamari, we picked up the laptop and headed down to the wireless Intranet place for dinner, drinks, and Internet time.

Day 12: Ferry -> Santorini

2007-10-29T18:48:00.000-07:00

Monday, September 24

Not really sure when day 12 started, given our marathon time on the ferry in the Iraklion port.

I do remember when Daniel pointed out the distant shape of Santorini. As it grew closer, I wondered if it could live up to all the build up it had gotten for us on this trip.

Sailing up to land takes an amazingly long time. And, with anything large, it always seems closer because you can't truly appreciate how large it is. So, it wasn't until we were sailing past the southern part of the island that Santorini started living up to all the hype.

The caldera (volcanic feature formed by the collapse of land following a volcanic eruption) is breathtaking, from both below and above. Sailing along, there are spots along the top of the caldera look like they are snow covered, but it's really just the white-washed buildings that make up the cities of Santorini. In the middle of it all is a low black island that is the latest output of the volcano that still lives under the sea.

Athinios, where the ships dock, is just a little way-station that supports the coming and going of tourists. It was a sea of people and transport vessels. We tried to suss out what was going on. Daniel walked farther along while I waited. A bus driver whose bus named the city we wanted to head to, Kamari, walked by, picking up a news paper in the shop I was standing in front of. I asked him about going to Kamari and he offered to drive us for 10 Euros. I got Daniel and we were off without delay.

The drive up the switchbacks gave us great views going up. The driver knew the name of the place we wanted, and dropped us off around the corner. Our hotel made me even happier to be in Santorini. I forgot to take a picture of the room, which had dark wood furniture, but it was charming. An older woman runs it who hardly speaks any English, as we'd discovered in our calls to the hotel trying to adjust our reservation.

I think we took a walk around the main beach drag and probably had some lunch somewhere. We got some big waters and Daniel got some more Gatorade, which he'd been taking since he started feeling sick. I know we slept because we were both very tired from the ferry.

I went to dinner by myself to the Crepe Academy. Had a lemon, sugar, cinnamon crepe. The check came in a little Plexiglas stand with a cylindrical area to hold the cash register receipt. The moon was full and looked amazing over the water. I got a pretty good picture.

Day 11: Iraklio

2007-10-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

Sunday, September 23

It'd been windy all night so I was doubtful about the ferry coming in. I had the man at the front desk (the father) call the port. We were told it would get in at 11AM and leave that evening at 7 (our fourth delay in getting to Santorini). I was still dubious. We went to the Internet place and looked up the weather. We eventually decided to risk it and checked out of our hotel. Unfortunately, Daniel was totally sick at this point and just wanted to sleep, another reason we wavered on checking out. It was fairly cold and most places were outdoors or very open to the outdoors. By this point, we were also just tired of Iraklio and longing for Santorini.

Not sure where we went first, but I wound up dragging my sick boyfriend around trying to find this one street we'd gone done that smelled good the other day. We did eventually find it and sat down to eat. They were out of what I wanted to order (although someone who came later was able to get it) and they forgot Daniel's fruit plate for a long time. Then we couldn't get anyone to bring us our check.

From there, we went to this hookah place that had couches for lounging and large cups of thick hot chocolate, which they served with small baklava-type pastries. We read while we drank. When it got late enough, we headed over to the port. We still had to wait to board the ferry. I got a spanikopita swirl while we waited.

We boarded the ferry around 6PM with the idea we'd be sailing in a few hours. A few hours turned into over 12 hours (5th delay?). We had gotten seats by our luggage but later moved up to the first class lounge and slept on seats near a very loud television, which I believe caused me to dream an episode of 'Survivor'.