Unsettled

I’ve been thinking about blogging about being unsettled for a month or more now. But, being unsettled, it’s taken this long to get to doing it. I actually went to do it yesterday, but when I tried, my computer no longer recognized keyboard. How apt.

I don’t know if I can pin point when my life became unsettled. Certainly the past six months, after my car became unreliable, died, and the long search for its replacement, qualify. Then the decision to leave my apartment and Alki in early December, really kicked it all in to high gear. My boss and one coworker left shortly thereafter. I did find my new car, a 1999 Toyota Celica, but had to wait until mid-January to actually take possession. My boyfriend moved at the end of December, and then me the next weekend.

In addition, I got a new cell phone, a new vacuum (my new place has hardwood floors throughout so I gave my upright to my boyfriend and bought a hand-held), and finally got a SLR digital camera. I feel like my reading list of manuals is a mile high, and it’s tiresome to not know how to do things you used to be able to do easily.

January twelfth was when I turned forty, which still seems unbelievable. For all the talk of forty being the new thirty and all, there’s just a lot of cultural baggage that goes with this milestone.

February was mostly a blur. I was on and off sick during it, and only after did I realize how much the on was. I’m wondering if it wasn’t a bit of allergies, too. I usual get them the first week of March, but I’ve been feeling much better in March than I was in February so…

I’m still settling in to my apartment. I only hung my art last weekend, after living with the layout of the apartment and making sure things were where I wanted them. I’ve also been moving things around, to optimize. To settle in.

The disruption of routine has been harder. I’ve not been good about working out, although this month was better and I have managed to walk to work and from work a few times. I’ve not been good about journaling, since that was mostly done on my bus rides (if I take the bus, the wait is usually longer than the ride). I’ve not been good about blogging, despite the fact I think about topics and how good it would be to do it. To settle my thoughts.

I do feel the changes are positive. At least the latest ones—new boss, new apartment, new car. This goes back to the question of when things became unsettled. Summer 2005 is my best guess. That’s when I stopped going to yoga. My class had been falling apart for some time, and my teacher had health issues, so by the time it stopped, it was a bit of a relief, as well as the passing of something wonderful from my life. I guess that is really how I feel about most of the changes, especially the big ones: it was time. Time to move out of my Alki place (and probably Alki itself), time to get a new car, time for my old boss to move on to new challenges.

My computer, however, is not choosing a good time to freak out on me. Hopefully, it can be fixed, and thankfully I have my boyfriend to work on it. But I need to settle in before more changes come along. I know I may not have the luxury of that, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed just the same.